Confused metrosexual Gavin Henson has been told he’ll be a fantastic dad by his future mother-in-law. Pity she is such a raving idiot then, eh?

Maria, that’s her name. You have heard of Maria, Charlotte Church’s angry matriarch of a mother. She yells a lot, gets drunk a lot and acts like a teenager – a lot. Much like her daughter then, only she is supposed to be setting an example to the bulbous, formerly credible singer with a sideline in chav fashions and looking fusty.

While expectant Charlotte has been lazing about gleefully watching her bump grow and ramming herself full of Ben and Jerry’s, Maria has brought in some extra dollars by chatting to Reveal magazine about Gavin and the pregnancy.

She had this to say:

“He's 110 per cent delighted. Gavin has been very protective over Charlotte recently. I think he will be a fabulous dad. He has a very gentle and calm character and those are good qualities for being a father. I can see him being very hands on – going to all the antenatal classes and being at the birth.”

Gavin-bloody-Henson: the in-denial ‘sportsman’ with a penchant for body waxing and painting his mug fluorescent orange. We cannot imagine this fool to be any better a father than he is a man, unless modern parenting involves sucking your stomach in and checking your hairline every five minutes. He does need sole responsibility of the Church family fridge, that’s for certain. Let post-popping Charlotte get a whiff of those Walnut Whips and she will be on a motorised scooter before you can yell ‘post-natal depression’ and ‘six-figure magazine deal’.

We hope scary Maria’s faith in her new son-in-law is not misplaced. While he might be taking fatherhood seriously there is no substitute for a good spray tan and some Vaseline on the teeth for that 24 hour smile. Just you take some time out for yourself when the baby is born, Gavin. Be that big bright shining man once again.

Read More:

Gavin To Be A Fab Dad – Ananova