As big as this metrosexuality thing is, sometimes we just want to go out and find a tiny little man who hits people a lot – right girls?

No? Nobody coming along with us on this one? Well Shannon Price understands. That's because Shannon Price has married Gary Coleman, planet Earth's foremost angry midget. To be fair, Gary Coleman and Shannon Price got married last August and people have only just found out about it, but you can't deny a happy couple when you see one.

Apart from that time Shannon Price called the police because Gary Coleman was so angry that she was scared he'd hurt her – but, you know, apart from that they're probably quite happy.

People say that nice things come in small packages. For the most part that's rubbish – if you wanted a speedboat and someone gave you a package the size of, say, a Chewit, you might feel a little bit disappointed – but with former Diff'rent Strokes star Gary Coleman it's completely true.

For a little man, Gary Coleman has got a lot of love to give, unless you're the autograph hunter who he beat up that time or the inside of his own car. And now Gary Coleman has found an outlet for that love – a woman called Shannon Price who's 18 years younger than him, one foot taller than him and due to get half his stuff when thy invariably divorce. Gary Coleman and Shannon Price, you see, are married.

We don't know why we're reporting this as news, actually, because they got married last August. However, it's only now that the Coleman/ Price marriage has been revealed to TV show The Insider. And it sounds like they had a beautiful mountain-top wedding that Gary Coleman is proud to say was as simple as possible:

"Nobody was around but the minister, the preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us."

Yes, it was lovely and simp… what!? A helicopter pilot? That's not simple at all, Gary Coleman. That's fairly elaborate when you think about it.

Anyway, six months into their marriage and things couldn't be going any sweeter for Gary Coleman and Shannon Price. She says he's "ten feet tall" to her because he's so kind. He says that she's, um, a "fabulous eBayer." And she's only had to call the police because she was terrified of his furious rages once, which bodes well for a happy futu… what!? According to E! Online:

He has a temper, "throws things around"—sometimes at Price, and heaved a printer, direction unknown, on the day of the TV interview. "I don't like the violence, I really don't," Price said. "He's got to damage something before his anger stops." Price told the show she's called the police on Coleman, and that the police, in turn, have ticketed him for disorderly conduct.

Still, if we wanted any man to angrily throw objects at us in a violent frenzy, it'd be Gary Coleman and his adorable podgy cheeks and stubby limbs. You're a lucky girl, Shannon Price, and we wish you every happiness in the rest of your marriage to Gary Coleman, which we've calculated as about three or four more weeks.

Read more:

Gary Coleman, Married Man – E! Online