And if that stuff you did included slathering kisses up Jennifer Garner's neck and verbally assaulting Ryan Seacrest on live global TV on the Oscars red carpet, then you probably know how Gary Busey has been feeling this week.
Except, no, you really don't. Because Gary Busey phoned Ryan Seacrest's radio show yesterday to explain his bizarre Oscars antics. And it turns out he's like that all the time.
You're probably sick of the Oscars by now. We are. We already know everything that happened – No Country For Old Men won and nobody watched and Whoopi Goldberg got ignored and was sad. And that's about it. Or at least it would be, were it not for the gloriously unhinged red carpet shenanigans of Gary Busey.
You know. Gary Busey. From Lethal Weapon. And Predator 2. And Under Siege. Barely even counts as an actor. Went to the Oscars anyway. Doesn't matter. Because in one fell swoop on Sunday night Gary Busey provided the sole Oscars highlight by staggering up to Ryan Seacrest live on TV during the pre-show red carpet segment, shouting something along the lines of "You! Youuuuuuu!" and then wiping his damp mouth up and down the neck of a clearly disgusted Jennifer Garner before stumbling off again. It was perfect, and it's here.
Now, your average human being would probably wake up the next morning feeling slightly shamefaced about everything and desperate to either hide away in private forever or justify their actions. Not Gary Busey, though – he phoned up Ryan Seacrest on his radio show yesterday not to apologise but to try and explain what he was trying to babble at him at the Oscars in the most nonsensical way imaginable. E! Online quotes:
You are to me, when you're working, an innocent champion of honesty. Your heart has a way to embrace the truth in your delivery without looking like you are reading a script. Everything looks spontaneous. What spontaneity is—spontaneity comes from an invisible idea that is there before the creation began. And you have that naturally, so I just wanted to pay you a compliment. But I didn't know you were in the middle of an interview, I was just moving through there.
We'd love to transcribe the whole Gary Busey interview, in fact – it's full of talk about catching dreams and the etymology of the word 'fan' – but you can click the link below for edited highlights.
All in all, though, Gary Busey's bewildering behaviour has led us to believe that maybe he might be just the thing to turn around the Oscars' dwindling fortunes. Imagine an entire Oscars ceremony hosted by Gary Busey. It'd be awesome – he'd divide his time rambling on enthusiastically about nothing and dribbling wads of man saliva over whichever female he happened to be nearest to.
In fact, forget the Oscars. Gary Busey deserves his own VH1 reality TV show. That's how big he deserves to be.