When you’re young, some things seem so damn cool. Like Americans. And motorbikes. And high speed chainfights. Obviously, once you grow up, these things lose their lustre a little.

But for a few golden years last decade, the coolest game you could wish to be seen with was Road Rash, this week’s game that time forgot.

At the heart of it, Road Rash was a simple racing game. You got to
ride a motorbike around a number of stereotypical locations.

So far, so Super Monaco GP. But what gave Road Rash the edge was the
ridiculous amount of irresponsible violence in the game. Involved in a
difficult tussle for sixth place with another rider? Kick them into an
oncoming van! Can’t quite overtake a competitor? Crack them in the head
until they fall off! From fists to feet, from baseball bats to chains,
the fights in Road Rash were nasty, brutal affairs.

The violence was always so integral to the game that if you overtook
someone without knocking them about first, you ended up feeling a bit
empty – it was like you didn’t deserve to win because you didn’t kick
someone against the side of a tunnel at high speed.

The races were all on the open road, so you had to dodge all kind of
obstacles – things like oncoming traffic, pedestrians and loose cows during your races.
Concentrate too hard on pummelling another racer and you’ll hit an old
lady with a zimmer frame and get thrown from your bike. And then you
had to manually run back to your bike, probably getting knocked down
several times in the process.

If that wasn’t enough, there were also police officers to deal with. Their
role was to stop you and arrest your illegally-racing ass by any means possible.
As youngsters, few things in life scared us as much as hearing the
police siren creeping up behind you. Because out-running the fuzz was
almost impossible. The fuzz were mean.

A game can qualify as a classic when you notice that aspects of it
start to bleed into everyday life. And Road Rash was no different.
Paper rounds became junior John Woo-esque displays of ridiculous
pushbike slap-fights. 1500 metre races during PE lessons were regularly
interrupted by Road Rash players pushing each other off the track.
Violent, yes. Immature, yes. They were golden times.

But then you grow up, and things change. Just as childhood
friendships fall apart when one friend grows up faster than the other,
Road Rash couldn’t make the leap to next generation consoles.

They tried to make Road Rash 3D for the PlayStation, but it fell on
it’s arse. Give any normal-headed gamer the choice between Road Rash
and, say, Wipeout and the answer’s a no-brainer. Suddenly Road Rash
looked horrible and outdated. They’d put video cut scenes in – cut
scenes of mulleted, bearded, leather jacketed trailer trash morons
whooping and hollering at each other. It wasn’t a cool game any more,
it was an episode of Jerry Springer in a crash helmet.

Road Rash has very clearly had it’s day. But what a day it was.

Relive the golden days. eBay has 48 different Road Rash items for you to bid on.

[story by Stuart Heritage]