Ga-Ga-Ga Gareth Gates Announces Another Comeback

Pop Idol, X Factor, Popstars The Rivals and Fame Academy have produced some talent over the years that has left us all scratching our heads in bemusement.

Before these competitions plagued our screens, we often thought that what the TV told us to buy was decent. But when we realised all these shows were just karaoke cover competitions we quickly lost faith and all hope. Over the years we’ve had many failed singers come through the Pop Idol ranks, so many that we can’t remember most of them. Probably because they're all so shit. Such failed pop stars include massive porkers Rick Waller and Michelle McManus, One True Voice, Darius and er… that’s all we can remember. Except for Gareth Gates - the Pop Idol runner-up who refuses to go away.

For the wrong reasons. Gareth Gates is the most successful thing to come out of Bradford since um… er… well, if we think of something decent from that corner of Yorkshire we’ll edit this post. Sorry people of Bradford, although your circular-shaped Wetherspoons is quite fetching. 

At one point, Gareth Gates captured the nation’s hearts as the young and naive lad who didn’t stand a chance. Chuck in the fact he couldn’t string words together properly and you had the perfect recipe for a sympathy vote. Millions of pre-pubescent teenagers voted in their thousands to push him towards that elusive recording contract. This worked, and if you can remember, he got all the way to the final, where he faced stiff competition from Will Young. Unfortunately Gareth's dreams were crushed, shattered and stamped upon on when he lost. Did this stop him? Sadly not. He vowed to the misery of hecklerspray to release a few crap singles and even worse-sounding albums. Then one day, after we sold our souls to an extremist Christian organisation, the joyous news came through that Gareth had been dropped from his record label BMG. It was cherry tango all round the office that day.  

The other notable story about boy wonder Gareth Gates was when he reportedly shagged balloon chested gargoyle Jordan. Not very exciting as Jordan had a reputation of bedding random men before settling down with another wank pop star – Peter Andre.  But the story was made even juicer when it was revealed she took Gareth’s virginity. For a few months this was constantly denied until he had the balls to admit it, at which point his career took a violent nosedive.

But now Gareth Gates is back. No, really, he is this time. We know we announced a stillborn Gareth Gates comeback two years ago, and then another sort of comeback five months ago, but this time Gareth Gates has got a new album coming out and everything. After a probably long time of talking to MusicRooms due to his speech impediment, Gareth said:

"I know some people might just hear my name and throw the CD out of the nearest window, but I hope they give it a chance and judge it on hearing it, not on pre-conceptions."

Call us cynical but we’ll definitely slap a tenner on the new Gareth Gates album not doing well. He’s just another dead and forgotten artist to come back and try and claw back some glory, and god knows there's been enough of them so far this year.

Read more:

Gareth Gates Is Back With New Album And Single - MusicRooms.net