Is there anything more delightful of an evening than a beer and some unwarranted violence?? Of course not, it’s what makes us British.? Tea, banging on nostalgically about the blitz and fighting in pubs, are as quintessentially British as having Prince Charles play national anthem on a kazoo while you shave a Union Jack into your pubic hair. Rule Britannia!
Something else quintessentially British is Ant and Dec.? No other country in the world would embrace a couple of midgets from the third world (Newcastle) whose main talent seem to be that you can never figure out which is which.
Although, we’re going to have to figure it out now.
In a moment more indicative of Old Blighty than the last night of the proms, the dual force of telly omnipresence and casual violence joyfully met in a good old fashion pub punch up.? Someone’s punched Ant.? Or was it Dec?
Which is the one with the big forehead?
Ant?
Right, him.? He’s been decked.
Ant McPartlin got punched in the face while stood in a pub watching football in a London pub.?? The 35 year-old Geordie was innocently watching footy on the old Aunt Nelly in the nuclear sub when some right raving oil tanker Salford Docks up beside him and lamps him right in the Chevy Chase.*
According to The Sun, Ant was having a few beers with friends in a pub in Chiswick, The Barley Mow. Dec had been there, but wasn’t anymore. Which surprised us, we thought they were conjoined twins or something.? Apparently a chap in tracksuit and silly hat shouted “Where’s your girlfriend?”, referencing Dec.
Then, according to Giedrius Kudzinskas, who conveniently had eyes pointing in the direction of the incident;
“Ant didn’t react and this bloke launched himself at him and punched him in the face. Ant reeled back and then a big fight broke out as his mates came to help him. Other people jumped in and held back the other guy.”
The chap was thrown out, Ant finishes his drink and all is well until Ant leaves and the young pup is their with more verbal nonsense. Ant walked away. Which we of course applaud, but a full blown street riot would have made this story much more interesting. So uneventful was this event that the landlord didn’t know a thing about it until The Sun rang him for this solid gold quote;
“I’m not aware of any violent situation.”
The biggest disappointment of that hecklerspray‘s could’ve gone ’round to The Barley Mow to watch, film and cover this live. If only we could afford pubs, instead of spending the evenings huddling together for warmth and sipping anti-freeze.
*The 35 year-old chap from the North Eastern part of England was, quite without blame, was viewing a game of association football on the television in a public house when a ruffian perambulated to his side and proceeded to strike Mr McPartlin in the face, presumably by rapidly straightening his arm, thus thrusting a clenched fist into the front side of Mr McPartlin’s head.
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