‘Frasier’ Star Is Pals With 2,000-Year-Old Ghost

 Kelsey Grammer - he of the quick-witted and slightly-overrated hit comedy Frasier - has revealed to his baffled fans that one of his best buddies is "a 2,000 year old ghost called Alex who teaches him about good and evil."

An avid believer in the spirit realm - "I have communicated with many entities of late," he insists, a bit like that scary-eyed Lottery psychic lady - Kelsey regularly communes with the departed and attempts to extract various paranormal nuggets of wisdom from them.

Shame they weren’t around when he signed up to star in Down Periscope, isn’t it?

Grammer - soon to be seen as blue mutant chap Beast in X-Men 3 - also goes on to explain that, while there is indeed an afterlife comparable to ‘heaven’ in which we "continue to evolve", it isn’t all fun and games on the astral plane. There are a few drawbacks too.

"I don’t think we get to have as much fun with our bodies on the other plane," he reveals. "What I’ve been told is that people do miss food on the other side. They would still love to have a milkshake."

Being deprived of delicious milk-based frothy drinks? Christ. No wonder that librarian spirit at the beginning of Ghostbusters looked so pissed off. She was probably just pining for the Nesquik Bunny.

hecklerspray does wonder, however, what advice the ghostly sages would have for other stars of the sitcom world.

Ricky Gervais: "Yeah, well done. Extras is pretty good. Keep it up."

 Larry David: "Curb Your Enthusiasm is still going strong. You’re doing great. Nice one."

 The cast of Will And Grace: "Please take your own lives immediately, you snivelling, talentless, vomit-inducing assortment of gurning shit-for-brains monkey-tossers."

Those spirit-types don’t mince their words, you know. Must be something in the Ectoplasm…

[story by C J Davies]