Foxy Brown Uses Electronic Ear Piece To Escape Prison

Foxy Brown is the best of the best. No other black female rapper under 4' has ever released a successful selling album using minimal beats and musical ability, and no other female black rapper over 3' has ever made bottles of lotion explode all over a salon just by looking at them with her angry devil eyes.

Also, L'il Kim trembles at the thought of her. That's just what we heard from a guy who's brother says he knows one of them.

Oh - and Foxy Brown is quite agile, which should really come in handy once she uses her ear piece to smelt her way through the prison wall and run through a swarm of prison dogs that she'll probably just tear in half because they're blocking her freedom.

Or maybe she'll just use a faulty ear piece as an excuse to go to California for a proper fitting. Judge willing, of course.

Usually when Foxy Brown makes the news it's because she's getting physically crushed by evil policemen across the country, or for crudely tearing the face off her neighbor using only a can opener and a handful of #2 pencils. Wait, is that what she got in trouble for? We really don't remember.

But somehow, for some reason, she ended up in prison, where for a while the only havoc she was able to wreak was on Bethany, the six-year-old girl that lived inside her while she was in solitary for 11 weeks. We'll need to check our sources on that one.

Things are looking up for Brown though, because she's deaf again. At least that's kind of what she claimed in a four page letter she's written to her judge. Take it away the Daily Dish:

"[Brown] is not due for release from New York's Riker's Island prison until September, but wrote to Judge Melissa Jackson on Tuesday, claiming she is in danger of losing her hearing if she is not treated by a specialist in California."

The judge, almost predictably, said there was no way she was gonna pay some fancy doctor in California to do an operation that the judge could do herself. Her Honor then cleared off her desk and proceeded to cure Brown's deaf-woe with a 27-hour operation.

All the other inmates awaiting a hearing were happy to wait. That or the judge ordered an actual medical exam to see if she was telling the rapstress truth.

Yeah, yeah it was that last bit what was true.

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Foxy Brown Wants EARly Release - MTV.Co.UK