There are few people we feel need to be revered. The Italian guy who made Troll 2, he should be revered. Our childhood friend who we still believe was half-banana (or plantain), he should be revered. That guy had the patience of a saint!
Foxy Brown, the world's greatest mango-faced rapper, well she should be revered too. The stupid police just don't see that though. For over a decade now Foxy Brown has been working hard at not being Lil' Kim. For all those years she's done wonderful work doing unspecific stuff for nobody in particular, and not really minding if people feed the homeless sometimes. But do the police appreciate her good works? Maybe! But if they do, they show it weird, like by punching her in the bazongas, bashing her with sticks in a repetitive fashion, and stapling her face to her forearms.
Technically, we're not really sure what the police actually did to Foxy Brown, but we do know she's claiming brutality – the violent kind.
We hate shops. We don't know why we hate them, only that we know we definitely do. After all, they must have done something wrong, because Foxy Brown has declared all-out war on them. In 2004 she beat one up that really deserved it. She didn't even care either. First she was all "yeah I did it," then she was all "no I didn't do it." Then she didn't even have to go to jail for it because no building could possibly ever hold her.
Then Foxy Brown beat up another shop just recently here. Well, she says she didn't. She says she was the victim in this case, not only of a greedy shop-keep, but of police brutality too. According to Foxy Brown, the shop keeper dragged her off the poop-box and hand-fed her to some very violent devil-loving police whose only joy in life is to get all up in Foxy's grill. This is the part where she claims the undeserved police brutality happened:
"The only crime I am guilty of committing is being a young black female celebrity in Broward County. I am the victim of an overzealous police department who engaged in police brutality and a money-hungry store owner whose motives are for me to pay his mortgage on his house and his children's tuition."
Then she was kinda like:
"I am not a violent person. Now help me pull my finger out of this twelve-year old's eye socket."
Foxy Brown never said that last quotation, and hecklerspray greatly regrets insinuating that she did. Now if she'll please release us from this tiny deaf headlock.
Read More:
Yung says
It’s getting to the point now where I only know who Foxy Brown is because she has fights in shops. I wouldn’t know one of her songs if it stabbed me in the tit
Schmoo says
Genetically speaking, *everyone* is half-banana…