Flea’s House Gets Red Hot & Burns Down

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Flea Red Hot Chili Peppers Malibu Wildfires House Mansion Burns Down BurntIt looks like the latest wildfires to hit California might be an act of God, in which case we can assume that God dislikes the Red Hot Chili Peppers almost as much as we do.

That's because Flea, the man responsible for all of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' interminable bass solos, is the highest-profile victim of the wildfires that swept through Malibu this weekend. According to Flea himself, his $4.8 million Malibu mansion has been "burnt to a crisp." It's a tragic situation for Flea to be in, because not only was he forced to witness the total destruction of his house, but he's now also been forced into emergency accommodation in the form of the other $10 million mansion he also owns in Malibu. We sense the next Red Hot Chili Peppers album might be quite heavy on the bass-led ballads about how crap it is to only have one multi-million dollar Malibu mansion instead of two, you know.

As we speak the Red Hot Chili Peppers are busy suing Showtime because they have an album called Californication and Showtime has a show called Californication. Nobody knows which way the lawsuit will go yet, but we're assuming that Mother Nature wants Showtime to win, because she's just burnt down Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers' house down. Personally if we were Mother Nature we'd have also set fire to David Duchovny's house as well, partly out of a sense of fairness and partly because we'd want to scare him into never making any more episodes of that rubbish TV show ever again, but we just don't have that power.

So it's just Flea who got hit by the latest wildfires to hit California this weekend, causing 15,000 people to evacuate their properties and thought to be started by either arson or a fallen power line. One of Flea's two Malibu mansions has been completely gutted by the fire – the one that was apparently on sale for $4.8 million, and was described by estate agents Pritchett-Rapf & Associates as being:

"Set in a botanical paradise, this private 2.4 acre compound also features a newly refinished pool and spa, private alcoves and pathways throughout the grounds."

Something tells us that Flea probably won't get the asking price for the mansion any more, unless millionaires exist who are equally enthusiastic about hopelessly generic middle of the road self-indulgent old man white boy funk-rock and smouldering piles of ash, which we can't really see happening. Nobody likes white boy funk-rock that much, surely.

But let's not mock Flea too much, because losing your house in a wildfire must be an indescribably traumatic thing to go through for anyone, and that includes slightly annoying members of bands we don't like all that much.

So instead, let's treat Flea's misfortune as a lesson here – what with all the violent displays of uncontrollable fire and the possibility of either being smacked in the face with Britney Spears' vagina or being ethnically insulted by Mel Gibson, we're going to strike Malibu off our list of holiday destinations for next year. That just leaves Kabul, which is probably better because we're really worried about the vagina thing happening.

Read more:

Flea, Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist, Loses Home In Malibu Fire – Los Angeles Times 

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Comments

  1. FuckYou InDaAss says

    This is bullshit! What the hell did the Chili Peppers do to you?!? Suck dick and die mother fuckers

  2. JBollocks says

    If you’re talking fires and bass guitar, my bet is on a Chilli’s cover of “Smoke on the water”.

    Except, like “Smoke and all my drugs”

  3. Usuck says

    You are a total boob. You have obviously never listened to the peppers besides a pop hit or two you heard on the Disney radio channel while playing with your Barbies. The Chili Peppers are brilliant, and you are a boob. On top of that, Flea is a humble, loving person and you took his misfortune as an opportunity to rake on someone who rocks harder than you; and it pisses you off. Freeze a banana and stick it up your ass, you D-bag!

  4. Barnaby MIlla' says

    Look folks, The Chili Peppers are a GREAT band, it’s the lead singer who licks ape tit.

    Flea rocks.

  5. Shit website says

    Wow, the author of this article sucks fucking shit. Go back to school and learn how to write a decent article you hack. You’re just bum hurt that the Chili Peppers are perhaps the best band in the world right now, and you’re stuck writing shitty hate columns on a shitty website. Surely you did not aspire to become this when you were young right? Right?! I hope not.

  6. says

    Hey Shit – The Chili Peppers were the
    best band in the world for 8 seconds in 1985.
    You are in serious need of an update.
    And for your edification, not all of us see
    our childhood dreams come true.

    I wanted to be an astronaut, but NASA’s long-standing
    bias against mutant dwarves has cost me my dream.
    Even though it would cost less to send me into space.
    I am not bitter though, no, not bitter, me.

  7. Kid says

    lol you fag. you probly had blood flowin out your pee hole when you wrote this so ill let you off. but for the future its probly wise not to bash quite a popular band unless you just want the annoying replys

  8. brad henderson says

    Yea man flea is the shit and so are the red hot chili peppers whoever wrote this is a total douschebag and should kill himself. Flea is a great guy…

  9. says

    Can you actually explain your reasoning for disliking their style, in any manner, since they, by your words, were great at one point 1985. Was it your taste in music influenced by misery leading to country or death metal shyte and opposing the fun of funk…or was it the band that just ate you so raw to the point of rude and slanderous “posts” (I don’t believe that this is such an “article”). Maybe your just sour because he does have success and you don’t? For all the actual mental, physical and emotional effort the men of RHCP exuded they deserve the rewards that they have. Would you condemn all artists wealth? I doubt that your “posts” make it past your personal journaling. ELUCID It can also be that mother nature cursed you with a mutant body so you couldn’t join NASA because your success blended with your personality and soul would be treacherous.
    They have been the most humble of men, Flea especially…their consistent outreach (whether its musical or philanthropic) will emit more love, compassion, energy, positive thinking, great sounds and happiness than any person I know of.
    Pretty much all I am saying is that your just not a happy person and your and it seems that your “job” supports negativity and not just opinion. That sucks. Enjoy that dirty drive through life.
    I invite a response,if you can try not to be so foul? (there’s a challenge)

  10. nick says

    U all need a tall glass of hater-aid this “white boy” as u so racistly call him is a great musician and no one even knows who any of u haters are. Y’all need life’s

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