For years now, we’ve been wondering when this simmering tension between LL Cool J and Sarah Palin would come to a head.
And now, thank God, it has. Although not in the way we thought it would – we assumed that LL Cool J and Sarah Palin’s bickering would eventually give way to a raw explosion of red hot animal lust and the pair of them would end up tearing each other’s clothes off so that they could have all kinds of urgent, graphic sexual intercourse in a variety of incredibly public locations until a riot van came along to hose them both down. But, alas, that isn’t the case at all.
Instead LL Cool J has ordered Fox News to remove an old interview clip of him from a show that Sarah Palin will host. Which is probably the outcome less likely to make you suffocate on your own vomit, admittedly.
OK, we admit it. We didn’t know that there was any tension between Sarah Palin and LL Cool J. This is for two reasons: 1) we weren’t strictly aware that LL Cool J was still alive and 2) we just assume that Sarah Palin causes so much tension wherever she goes, what with her crazy ideas about God and voice so shrill that it sounds like a sealion being pushed down some stairs, that nobody notices each time she upsets someone new.
But apparently there is tension between Sarah Palin and LL Cool J, and it’s just exploded into a full-blown feud. It started when LL Cool J – a 42-year-old man who still calls himself LL Cool J – learnt that Sarah Palin – a 46-year-old woman who still has trouble stringing lucid sentences together – was planning to use clips of a two-year-old interview to illustrate a point on Fox News’s Real American Stories. Naturally LL Cool J took to Twitter over the matter, tweeting:
Fox lifted an old interview I gave in 2008 to someone else & are misrepresenting to the public in order to promote Sarah Palins Show. WOW
After initially claiming that it didn’t need his permission to repurpose the interview, Fox News eventually relented and removed the interview from Palin’s show. In a statement, head of programming Bill Shine said said:
“Real American Stories features uplifting tales about overcoming adversity and we believe Mr. Smith’s interview fit that criteria. However, as it appears that Mr. Smith does not want to be associated with a program that could serve as an inspiration to others, we are cutting his interview from the special and wish him the best with his fledgling acting career.”
That’s fighting talk right there, especially when you realise that LL Cool J has been acting for 25 years. A retort now seems inevitable, at which point Sarah Palin will probably cut in with a few barbs of her own. Then there’ll be trouble. We don’t want another Biggie and Tupac unfolding, not least because Sarah Palin has a proven track record of shooting things from helicopters. LL Cool J doesn’t stand a chance against her.
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