Fat Matt Le Blanc Ate All The Pies
One of the most spectacular things about Friends (DVDs) spin-off Joey - apart from how amazingly unfunny it all is – is the ever-increasing girth of leading man Matt Le Blanc (DVDs).
Seriously – just watch the boy go. He must pile on at least ten pounds an episode (and in a world where justice reigned, that’s what he’d get paid too). If he carries on along this trajectory he’s going to end up with more Chins than a Far East phone directory. (Joke copyright of The Two Ronnies, 1976)
So … what’s the reasoning behind all of this? Has Matt started to reel off the pathetic excuses so beloved by tubbier members of society? You know … stuff like ‘I’m retaining water’ or ‘I have a slow metabolism’ rather than ‘yep, you guessed it … I just eat too much!’
No. All credit to the chap, he hasn’t …
What he has revealed, however, is that on a recent promotional trip to the U.K, he found himself becoming completely ‘hooked’ on that peculiar British culinary treat: The Ginsters Pasty.
Ginsters, you see, take pride in their sponsorship of Channel Five’s (not so) flagship comedy, and apparently made sure that wherever Matty-boy parked his backside – be it press conference, tabloid interview or fawning TV appearance with scary-eyed ladyman Paul O’ Grady (DVDs) – he was never far from a hot and delicious savoury snack.
And – like any good pusher – they’ve kept him ’supplied’ with their products ever since.
Truth be told, flying those meat-filled goodies over the Atlantic must be something of a dangerous process. As one of Le Blanc’s pal’s quite rightly pointed out, ‘[L.A] is a city where carbohydrates are seen as the devil’s spawn.’
Smuggling Ginsters through the airport must be the equivalent of lugging around seventy-odd kilos of pure cocaine. It’s not all that difficult to imagine hordes of perma-tanned L.A policeman, waving their guns and telling people to ’stand back’ from the evil Snack-Courier. ‘He’s got a Chicken and Mushroom slice, folks,’ they’d yell. ‘Stand back! He could be carrying a Scotch Egg!‘
hecklerspray says: good on you, Matt. Keep wolfing down those pies and things may take a turn for the better. After all, doesn’t the myth go that fat people are innately funny; that they have a built-in sense of humour?
God knows that’s what Joey needs …
[story by C J Davies]
