Jessica Simpson sang These Boots Were Made For Walking, even though This Mouth Was Made For Gorging is probably more accurate.

Or, you know, These Thighs Were Made For Crushing Cars. Or something. Basically, Jessica Simpson has got a little bit fat, and everyone’s talking about it.

Thanks to a couple of unflattering pictures taken last weekend, people now refer to Jessica Simpson as Heifer-ca Simpson, Jessica Not-Thinson or Jessica Simpsonofabitchyougotfat. Or maybe we made those up. We’re not telling.

And now Kim Kardashian has said that Jessica Simpson looks ‘hot’. That’s because she’s insulated by fat, you insensitive bitch.