Sundays are the fucking worst regardless of anything. They should be renamed “Sad Abortion Sundays” because it’s more so a day of depression than a day of rest, amirite?! Anyway, today my life feels extra meaningless because I find myself once again talk about that garbage bag full of water trash of a human, Farrah Abraham, again.
Farrah was recently on that awful fucking show, Couples Therapy, with a guy she HIRED to play her boyfriend just so she could get on tv again. This bitch, though! Aside from the lunacy that is her fake relationship, she recently got called out big time on the show for lying about her sex tape. Is anything in this woman’s life genuine?!
Let’s just take a look at Farrah Abraham’s life and choices for a second here, shall we? First, she has a kid at 17, which, you know, I’m not going to hate on her for because it happens, but then she exploits her teen pregnancy by going on a bunch of stupid MTV reality shows. I can even forgive that, because teen mom’s need money because ain’t cheap. So the shows end and what does Farrah do? Blows all her money on like 10 million shitty plastic surgery procedures!
What’s more important, your child’s future education, or a crappy boob job and chin implants? According to Farrah, the boobs and chin win.
After that, this bitch goes and makes an awful/awkward/weird/creepy/uncomfortable/every negative adjective in the world music video where she sings at her dead baby-daddy’s grave. How do I sum that up?
So, by this point, Farrah’s pointless fame is starting to take a nosedive, but, luckily for her, her private sex tape with her porn star boyfriend, James Deen (who’s porn name really should’ve been James Peen, but I guess he’s not that creative), got leaked. Poor Farrah, how embarrassing it must be to have one of the biggest porn companies in North America release your professionally videotaped private sex tape that you made with your famous porn star boyfriend who you paid to be in the tape with you and only met you and hour before filming. Is nothing sacred?!
Which brings us to Farrah now. So Farrah is on the show Couples Therapy, and as far as I can tell she is on that shit alone. So I guess it’s more like Couples and One Single Crazy Bitch Therapy. Side note, I know this show is bullshit because if it couldn’t save the beautiful love between Courtney Stodden and Doug whats-his-name, then it can’t save anyone! Anywhere, Farrah allegedly wanted to be on the show so bad (because she wasn’t getting any attention this week) that she hired some guy to play her boyfriend.
However, the dude backed out last minute, but for some reason the producers decided to still let Farrah be on the show. I don’t fucking get it either. The world has gone to shit. BUT ANYWAY, on a recent episode, during a therapy session Farrah is called out by a fellow cast member about her “sex tape.” Farrah, who is clearly the queen of delusion land, keeps sticking to the story that her sex tape was just a legit sex tape made by her and her “boyfriend” (even though Deen has admitted to being paid for it and having never met Farrah before the tape) and that she has no idea how it got in the hands of a porn company. Yeah, ok.
However, while defending her sex tape with her legit boyfriend who just happened to be a porn star, a cast member questions how it’s a “sex tape” if there is a camera crew. To this, Farrah responded:
There was only me and a camera person. Where are you seeing a crew?
The cast mate points out that there are different angles in the film, and then addresses the fact that Farrah admitted there was, indeed, a camera person. And how does the Einstein that is Farrah respond?
No. I can straight up honestly say there was never any other person ever around us while we were having sex.
But wait, Farrah, you just said ON TELEVISION that there was a camera person. We all heard it! But no, even though she literally said it less than a minute before, Farrah responds:
I don’t know if I ever said “camera person.” There was never a camera person.
YOU JUST SAID THERE WAS! LIKE A MINUTE AGO! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! You’re famous for being a knocked up teen cheerleader, you spent all your reality tv money on shitty plastic surgery, you cry about how in love you still are with your dead baby daddy who you weren’t even with anymore when you found out you were pregnant, you filmed a porno but refuse to admit it and just delusionally call it a sex tape, you wax your daughters eye brows, and you keep paying guys to pretend to be your boyfriend. You are actually the worst, fakest bitch on the planet! You legit make Kris Jenner look good! Goddammit girl, look at your life! Look at your choices! You need a sassy gay friend!
I’d say that I just can’t with Farrah Abraham anymore, but frankly, I don’t know if I ever could.