Maybe the Next Surgery Farrah Abraham Should Get is a Brain Implant

Farrah-Abraham-TongueOh, Farrah Abraham.  We’ve all had our moments where we say things that are just stupid, but when the smartest thing to ever come out of your mouth is James Deen’s man juice, there is something seriously wrong with you. 

Teen Mom‘s resident 3rd rate Jenna Jameson has blessed the world with more quote worthy gems in a recent interview with Miami New Times.  When asked by the reporter if she considered herself a feminist, Abraham cheerfully replied that she was!  She loves dresses, and skirts, and flowers, and kittens, and pink… So, of course she is feminine!  But since, you know, feminine was NOT the word used by the interviewer, he repeated himself to make sure Abraham just didn’t mishear him.  She didn’t.

Here is how it went down while discussing Abraham’s yawn worthy X-rated movie with porn star James Deen:

It sounds pretty shitty that he went behind your back and leaked your personal tape. Do you consider yourself a feminist?
Farrah: I’m pretty feminine.  I think so.

Not feminine – feminist.
What does that mean, you’re a lesbian or something?

No, that’s not what I’m asking at all.
What context are you saying it in?

It’s a complicated concept, but I guess at it’s most basic, it means that women are equal to men.
Oh, I definitely feel that women are equal to men. No doubt about that. I mean women should have equal rights to men, every day.

It’s like she is the Susan B. Anthony of our generation!  She don’t need to know no fancy words to bring about equality! Edumication is for poor nobodies!

Way to top your own Trayvon Martin comments, Farrah.  Reach for the skies, girlfriend!

Shit, just last week Abraham announced she was planning on writing an erotic novel that was going to “give 50 Shades of Grey a run for their money“. No, for real, she is.  Now, anyone who has read “50 Shades of Chris Brown Sex” will attest that the writing in it is far from Shakespearean, but I think it is pretty safe to say that anything Abraham could possibly write would even make that crap seem well written.

Now, don’t laugh at Farrah’s aspirations.  Look at all the “stars” of today with books!  Snooki, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Justin Beiber, just to name a few.  These are some highly educated, well rounded individuals with gripping stories to tell.

Or, more accurately, these are just people with enough money to buy a publisher.  Now, thanks to taking it up the ass, Farrah Abraham can now join the ranks.  And the sad part is, it will somehow sell a shit ton of copies and extend this broad’s 15 seconds of fame.   As long as she doesn’t try to write any parenting books.  “How to Make Millions From Unprotected Sex and Still Be the Sexiest Mom in the PTA!  Education Not Required!

Silver linings, folks.

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