Fame Academy Betting Odds: Ray Stubbed

The Celebrity Fame Academy axe has swung again, and it's slashed the throat right out of Ray Stubbs. And only the deafest, most scrabblingly moronic nincompoops will agree that the loss of Ray Stubbs couldn't have come at a more merciful time.

Not just merciful for us - although we will sleep a lot safer in our beds tonight knowing that we won't see a middle-aged man pogoing like a self-conscious teenager while intoning the words of a blokey anthem like a biblical prophet on Celebrity Fame Academy any time soon - but also merciful for Ray Stubbs himself, who'd been knocked by a virus so nasty that it actually made his performance of Let's Work Together sound like it was being sung by a zombie with emphysema.

There aren't many Celebrity Fame Academy contestants left, so who's going to win? Here's today's Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds - for Tara Palmer Tomkinson and Shaun Williamson - with help from Paddy Power…

Tara Palmer Tomkinson - Tara Palmer Tomkinson, despite probably being so inbred that she has a brain the size and density of a walnut, is a very clever girl. When she opens her mouth to sing at any given time on Celebrity Fame Academy, the noise that leaps out sounds like a million cats having a fight on a ghost train. It's useless. But what Tara Palmer Tomkinson has cleverly done is to play up the whole 'oh poor me, I took so much cocaine that my nose fell off' angle, and by looking all doe-eyed and sad during her Celebrity Fame Academy songs, the public instantly thinks "Oh the poor dear, she looks like she's certainly learning her lessons" and votes her through. Even though she's an upper-class twit of galactic proportions who never ever blinks. Ever. Current Fame Academy betting odds - 2/1

Shaun Williamson - Last week we said that we can't pay attention to Shaun Williamson's singing on Celebrity Fame Academy because his weirdly regrown hair keeps calling us like mermaids to our doom. However, now we have listened to Shaun Williamson's singing we sort of wish we hadn't, because it's making us hungry for some chicken in a basket. So cabaret is Shaun Williamson's voice that we keep thinking his song will be immediately followed by a juggler. But boy oh boy can Shaun ever shout loud, so for this reason alone we're expecting him to win Celebrity Fame Academy - that is if he can somehow manage to upstage Tara's constant weepy sobbing. Current Fame Academy betting odds - 7/4

Tomorrow - The Celebrity Fame Academy final betting odds. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Celebrity Fame Academy betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.