Face Of BT, Ex Doctor Who In Role Swapping Madness

Maureen Lipman – British Telecom’s Beattie character from the 80s adverts - has landed a role as a baddie in an episode of Doctor Who, while Tom Baker who played the famous doctor in the 70s is to be BT’s voice of text messages on UK landlines.

Maureen is to play an invading extra terrestrial in an episode of legendary show Doctor Who, in a role which forces the Doctor – played by actor David Tennant – to run around like a mental mad man trying to save the world from yet another special effects-laden disaster.

Life
on the Doctor Who (DVDs) set for Maureen was clearly a long way from the twinset and perm
days of her BT character. The Sun newspaper quoted her as saying:

“It
was very cold and the wind blew up my evening dress and rattled my
pearls… I had to respond to commands such as ‘OK Maureen, now could you
give us 15 seconds of having every last drop of energy sucked out of
you?’ It was great.”

Yes… quite – why on earth Maureen was wearing pearls under her evening dress is anyone’s guess, the saucy old minx that she is.

Evidently
BT got the hump after Maureen was poached by the Doctor Who team, and so
retaliated by going after one of the legendary doctors themselves in a
game of an eye for an eye, an icon for an icon.

Tom
Baker played Doctor Who for seven consecutive seasons from 1974 – 1981
and will be known to all those young ‘uns not old enough to remember
the good doctor, as the voice of the Little Britain narrator.

Tom
will be the voice of the BT text to landline service for the next three
months providing many hours of fun sending silly texts to yourself and
chuckling at the famous voice.

It
took Tom 11 days to record 11,593 phrases covering every sound in the
English language, which no doubt included such useful and pleasant
words as bollocks, bugger and bum. Channel Four News reported Tom as saying:

"It’s a big responsibility to be Britain’s voice of text. What appeals to me most is the thought that I will be
bringing good news to people whether it is a cheeky message, a birthday
greeting, or just a quick hello. Whatever it is, hopefully my voice
will bring a smile to people’s faces."

There’s
no question there Tom; already pathetic and immature 29-year-olds can
be heard cracking up at the sound of your voice telling them ‘Up your
bum you twat-faced dickhead.’

Now where’s that mobile…

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[story by Joanna Sim]