There are lots of various celebrations that everyone gets roped into at various points of the year. In December, we remember the birthday of our lord Jesus Christ by forgetting to buy him a birthday cake with 2000+ candles in and instead buy our loved ones overpriced presents that they tend to take back on Boxing Day anyway.

And on the note of Christian celebration, we also get to remember Jesus’ David Blaine-style trick of doing something relatively amazing, when he comes back from the dead every Easter. We celebrate this by giving each other chocolate eggs. Why? We don’t know and we can’t be arsed to Wikipedia it either. But the most pointless celebration of all is with us today, Valentine’s Day.