Eva Mendes Out Of Rehab, She’ll Be Back

We can't overstate how selfish Eva Mendes is being at the moment - what sort of self-respecting celebrity quietly goes off to rehab instead of having a massive teary public breakdown?

And what's more, it turns out that Eva Mendes has left rehab without immediately trying to validate her stay by combing over every single tiny personal blip she's ever experienced to a number of glossy magazines. The bitch!

However, Eva Mendes isn't through with rehab yet - reports suggest that she's only left temporarily. But that doesn't answer any of our questions, like why Eva Mendes was even in rehab to begin with, or how long her break from rehab will last or if agreeing to star in Ghost Rider was a direct consequence of being hammered on a shitload of drugs. These are the big questions, people. 

Unless you're some sort of expert, you've probably lost count of exactly what the celebrity rehab situation is at the moment. So, just to get you up to speed, Kirsten Dunst is in rehab and Amy Winehouse is in rehab unless she's not. Britney Spears was in something a bit like rehab, but she's out now and Eva Mendes was in rehab but she's out as well but soon she'll go back. Happy?  

Anyway, this is about Eva Mendes, so let's focus on her. Apparently Eva Mendes had been in rehab in Utah for weeks before anyone found out last Friday, and now she's out already. Sort of. E! Online reports:

A rep for the actress confirmed Mendes has returned to Los Angeles but said she soon plans to head back to the facility where she is being treated. "Eva is attending to some personal business in Los Angeles and intends to return to complete her treatment shortly," publicist Brad Cafarelli said in a statement.

Of course, what stings most about all this is how secretively Eva Mendes is playing it. There was no messy build-up, no crying in public and no almost getting fired by a movie producer for being such a massive trainwreck at work. It's all come out of the blue, and we can only hope that when she's finished her course of rehab Eva Mendes will give a series of dignity-shredding interviews about all her problems just to make up for it.

But still, nobody seems to have learnt why Eva Mendes even went to rehab in the first place - does she have a real problem or is this one of those Isaiah Washingtony pretend rehab stints? - although the odd clue has emerged here and there. Some sources have suggested that Eva Mendes has a cocaine problem, while others have pointed the finger at 'body issues' - which probably means bulimia - and 'low self-esteem'.

That'll be the same Eva Mendes who opened her last film by ramming her fingers up her chuff. And that's her with body issues and low self-esteem? We hate to think what Eva Mendes would be like with no body issues and high self-esteem, in that case.

Lindsay Lohan, probably. Ugh.

Read more:

Eva Mendes on Break from Rehab - E! Online