Make way for another stone-cold batch of Eurovision betting odds. Please.

You might be wondering who the hosts of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest will be – in which case you’ll be thrilled to learn that they’re Jovana Janković and Željko Joksimović! Don’t pretend that you don’t know who Jovana Janković and Željko Joksimović are. Not only are Jovana Janković and Željko Joksimović household names the world over, but their names also have the highest Scrabble scores of any Eurovision hosts since Barry Quartzy and Sandra Ethylenediaminetetraacetates from 1972.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Czech Republic, with help from Paddy Power…

Czech Republic (pop. 10,287,189; a landlocked country in central Europe): Tereza Kerndlov‡, Have Some Fun

If we were female, there’s a strong chance that we’d like to push Tereza Kerndlov‡ into a ditch. She’s pretty, she’s an accomplished singer, she’s apparently the sixth best dancer in the world and we  – as imaginary females – are none of those things. But before you all start getting too jealous of Tereza Kerndlov‡, watch the video to her Eurovision entry Have Some Fun. It’s rubbish. Have Some Fun throws everything it has into trying to disguise how lame it is – key changes, the world’s fattest DJ, other stuff – but that doesn’t hide that a) Have Some Fun is just about the most woefully holiday-camp title for a song in history and b) the song genuinely contains the line “Whenever rainy days make you insane.” For a test, let’s take two normal people and sit one in a room on a rainy day and the other in a room listening to nothing but Have Some Fun by Tereza Kerndlov‡ to see which one ends up more insane. We think we already know who it’ll be. As a sidenote, Tereza Kerndlov‡ used to be in a band called Black Milk. That’s not milk, that ink. Idiot. Current Eurovision betting odds – 100/1

Tomorrow: Denmark! But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.