Eurovision betting odds time. Again.

And what a big day for Eurovision it is – tonight sees the London’s big Eurovision party at the Scala featuring nine of this year’s contenders and, um, Buzzs Fizz. Will we be going to the Eurovision party? Not a chance – just thinking about Eurovision makes blood come out of our eyes these days.

And here’s why – the Eurovision betting odds for Latvia, with help from Paddy Power…

Latvia (pop. 2,331,500; a country in northern Europe) Pirates Of The Sea, Wolves Of The Sea

Listen, Latvia. It’s nothing personal, but you absolutely don’t deserve to make the Eurovision final. This is because you clearly don’t learn anything. Your song is a cheap-sounding discopop ditty performed by a boy/girl group dressed in uniforms. Sound familiar? It should – you’ve basically ripped of Scooch. Scooch! Of all the bands you could have ripped off, you chose the worst UK Eurovison act in living memory. Nice one dickheads. And what’s worse is that you’re a band called Pirates Of The Sea and your song is called Wolves Of The Sea. Wolves Of The Sea we can understand – it’s a metaphor, you’re like wolves but you work on the sea – but Pirates Of The Sea? What sort of a useless metaphor is that? A pirate of the sea is a pirate, you enormous redundant spazzes. Also your song begins with “With a hii hii hoo and a hii hii hey!” Basically Latvia, in summary, you’ve made us so angry we’ve just accidentally shat ourselves. Current Eurovision betting odds – 20/1

Next week: Lithuania. Oh god. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.