The Eurovision Song Contest wouldn't be the Eurovision Song Contest without a handful of essential elements – like a set of clueless boy/girl hosts and a musical interlude filled with enough befuddling national symbolism to give you nightmares for a month.

But in today's Eurovision betting odds we're going to be thinking the unthinkable and imagining a Eurovision Song Contest stripped of the one thing that makes it bearable for the majority of people watching. Alcohol? No. Amateur self-performed lobotomies? No. Terry Wogan? Yes. Terry Wogan.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Terry Wogan to not present the Eurovision Song Contest this year, with help from Paddy Power…

Terry Wogan not to present BBC's coverage of Eurovision Final 2007 – It hasn't been a good year for Terry Wogan so far. Where previously Wogan has coasted by from year to year by just wittering about Katie Melua on his radio show, only turning up on TV to do his self-deprecatingly twinkly thing on Points Of View and Children In Need, 2007 seems to be the year when everything Terry Wogan touches turns to shit.

First it was revealed that Terry Wogan gets paid thousands of pounds to present Children In Need – basically an eight-hour advert for crying poverty-stricken amputee orphans who can only communicate by drawing shapes in sand using a twig in their mouths who urgently need money – and then there was the Great Terry Wogan Eurovision Cock-Up, when he accidentally announced the winner of Eurovision: Making Your Mind Up as Cyndi, as opposed to actual winners Scooch, on live TV. This series of faux pas seems to have left Terry Wogan's Eurovision presenting job in jeopardy as far as these betting odds are concerned, although we're not so sure. Being hopelessly ill-mannered and forthright is the exact reason why everyone likes Terry Wogan as a Eurovision presenter. Besides, if Terry Wogan doesn't present Eurovision this year, who else will? Fearne Cotton? Fuck off. Current Eurovision betting odds -  4/1

Tomorrow: Dervish number one in Ireland? But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.