Eurovision Betting Odds: Full Marks For Scooch?

The Eurovision Song Contest doesn't take place until next month, but that's not going to stop us looking at some Eurovision betting odds right now - frankly it's been all we can do to not blurt them all out earlier, such is the strength of our embarrassing Eurovision love.

But we're not going to be giving you the proper Eurovision betting odds for a couple of weeks yet - in the meantime we're going to be warming you up with some special Eurovision betting odds. Instead of betting on the outright winner of the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest, you'll be given the chance to bet on various dumb pieces of Eurovision shit. Will the Irish Eurovision entry become a UK number one? Will Terry Wogan still be allowed to present Eurovision after arseing up the qualifying round so much? How many tears will the parents of Scooch cry when they realise how their children turn out? That sort of thing, though sadly not the last example (the correct answer for that is 12 billion in case you were wondering).

So here's the first part of our Eurovision betting odds - for the UK to get 12 points from every voting country - with help from Paddy Power…

The UK to get 12 points from every voting country - Anyone who has even heard the briefest snatch of the UK's Eurovision entry - Flying The Flag by Scooch - will know that the only conceivable way that Scooch got to represent the UK at Eurovision is because an army of mischievous Europeans all deliberately voted for the worst act in order to hobble our chances of winning. Or our chances of coming anywhere but last at Eurovision, come to think of it. So how likely is it that Flying The Flag by Scooch will receive the maximum 12 points from every single country in Europe? Minimal. Unless something happens over the course of the next few weeks to convince all of Europe's 809 million inhabitants that watching a bunch of washed-up popstars singing a slightly xenophobic song about how brilliant the UK is while a sinister-looking air steward offers to suck off all the men in the continent is the best thing in the whole wide world, we're going to stick our necks out here and say that maximum Eurovision points for Scooch just isn't going to happen. And if it does, there's a very good chance we'll do some self-harming. Current Eurovision betting odds - 250/1 

Tomorrow - anyone else to get full marks at Eurovision? But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.