***We're liveblogging Eurovision! Here! 8pm! Saturday!***

This is it – the penultimate day of our third annual Eurovision betting odds run-down. It's been a long hard slog, but you've done well, and on Saturday your efforts will be rewarded with three solid hours of bad European pop and wildly indiscriminate voting.

You could just sit around on your own watching Eurovision on Saturday night, you know, or possibly go to one of those flash Eurovision parties that we don't think anybody actually has – but if you want the full dosage of Eurovision fun, be sure to come back to hecklerspray during Eurovision to read our Eurovision liveblog. Live! As it happens! If nothing else it'll be somewhere to avert your eyes to when that Georgian woman starts twatting about in that ridiculous skirt.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Switzerland and Turkey, with help from Paddy Power…

Switzerland (pop. 7,993,100, a landlocked federal state in Europe) DJ BoBo, Vampires Are Alive

Now take a while to let that all settle in. DJ BoBo. Vampires Are Alive. DJ BoBo. Vampires Are Alive. From Switzerland. Sounds awful, doesn't it. Now factor in lyrics like "I am a vampire I'm a slave/ A slave to the daylight, hence my grave" and, why you're right, it does sound even more awful. Now actually watch the bastard thing – it is awful. The kind of awful trance music that Dave Pearce used to play on his awful radio station, accompanied by sub-Thriller dancing from a man with a skull painted on the back of his head. Keep watching, though – wait until the 2:50 mark. Now you want to punch DJ BoBo in the face, right? Well, tough luck, because DJ BoBo is apparently a huge star in all of Europe already and Vampires Are Alive is the favourite to win this year's Eurovision Song Contest. We know. We're confused too. Current Eurovision betting odds – 5/1

Turkey (pop. 68,109,469; a country located in southwest Asia) Kenan Dogulu, Shake It Up Shekerim

Phew, OK. Back to Eurovision business as usual, by which we mean crap songs that almost certainly won't win. Shake It Up Shekerim is a weird old song – it sounds like a Beyonce song and performed like the video to Rudebox by Robbie Williams. That doesn't make it weird, though – what makes it weird is that it's performed by a Turk in a flatcap and a seemingly non-ironic golden bomber jacket. Not even the billion back-up dancers that Kenan Dogulu has employed can disguise the fact that he's trying to win an international song competition featuring lyrics like "Lovey dovey, lovey dovey all the time/ I got lots of candy to make you mine." Still, with the Junior Eurovision Song Contest not taking place until December, at least Kenan has secured the paedophile vote already. And, no, we don't know what a Shekerim is. Any help would be most appreciated. Current Eurovision betting odds – 40/1

Tomorrow: The Ukraine and – that's right – the UK! But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.