Week two, day two of our annual Eurovision betting odds – a tradition now so familiar that some small villages in the southwest of England celebrate it by baking bread in the shape of Scooch while singing hits like Wat Een Dag by Greetje Kauffeld.
The last week of April is always an important one in terms of the Eurovision Song Contests – if the year was an episode of Fear Factor then this week would be the last gulp of clean air that the Eurovision entrants get before they have to dive headfirst into Eurovision month, represented in this analogy by a flaming barrel of rotting pig semen and dirty heroin syringes. Dangling from a helicopter. That's on fire. And about to crash into the side of a mountain. That, again, is on fire.
Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Estonia and Finland, with help from Paddy Power…
Estonia (pop. 1,408,566; a country in northern Europe) Gerli Padar, Partners In Crime
There's always good reason to be suspicious when a Eurovision entry needs a crappy gimmick like overactive drumming or a creepy man dressed a flight attendant offering you a blowjob, and that's the case with Gerli Padar – a woman who has already failed to represent Estonia twice before until she reached the finals of Estonian Dancing With The Stars. Gerli Padar's Eurovision gimmick is, yes, dancing. Because she reached the finals of a TV show that nobody out of one tiny north European country will know about. Clever girl. Anyway, while Gerli Padar roars out inane couplets like "I kiss your lips so sweet/ Do you feel the heat" and "We’re standing in the rain/ And sipping cold champagne," three men who look like they just stepped in off the street do a few sort of lacklustre improvised ballet moves for no reason whatsoever. Aside from the confusing dancing men, Partners In Crime is, again, a semi-nifty potential James Bond theme-tune. Current Eurovision betting odds – 66/1
Finland (pop. 5,211,311; a Nordic country in northern Europe) Hanna Pakarinen, Leave Me Alone
It's a cliche that when a country wins Eurovision, any initial excitement is washed away by the realisation that hosting Eurovision the following year is ridiculously expensive, and so they'll do anything they can to stop Europe voting for them again. After Finland won Eurovision last year, will they attempt this trick too? Well, Hanna Pakarinen's song is called Leave Me Alone, so we're guessing yes. Leave Me Alone by Hanna Pakarinen is an angry Evanescence-style waltz sung by the sort of grumpy goth girl you see drinking cider and black at bad pubs that have live music. Why does Hanna Pakarinen want you to leave her alone? Because "You took me to bed, that's what you were seeking/ But you don't even care what I am about." You bastard. Current Eurovision betting odds – 28/1
Tomorrow – Eurovision betting odds for France and the Former Yugoslav Republic Of Macedonia! But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.