Eurovision Betting Odds 2007: Belarus & Belgium

The Eurovision Song Contest is winging its way towards us - now's the time to place a well-timed Eurovision bet or two, so that you can forget about it and then be reminded of it in just over a month like some kind of terrible glittery nightmare.

As always, we're about to grab you by the back of the neck and ram your head down our Eurovision betting odds toilet, where we'll repeatedly yank the chain until you've got bits of Eurovision turd stuck to your chin and trapped under your eyelids. And believe us when we tell you that the two Eurovision hopefuls we'll be looking at today are amongst the weirdest Eurovision contenders we've ever seen. And that includes the 12-year-old singer from Monaco in 1969. Crazy, crazy Eurovision.

So here are the Eurovision betting odds for Belarus and Belgium, with betting odds courtesy of Paddy Power…

Belarus - (pop. 10,310,520; a landlocked nation of eastern Europe); Koldun, Work Your Magic

We were all set to make fun of Koldun's insane mullet and the way he looks and sounds like a gay vampire Princess Diana after a makeover by S Club 7's style consultants, but then one of our favourite readers sent us Koldun's official self-written biography, and it takes the piss out of the man better than we ever could: "According to his mom's memories, Dima managed to do his homework during his school breaks after lessons and spent his out-of-school time outdoors making his dear grandma feel nervous." Quite. As for Koldun's Eurovision song Work Your Magic… actually it'd make a fairly decent James Bond theme tune. The lyrics are genuinely filthy - "You set my beating heart in motion/ When you cast your loving potion/ Over me" - and the chorus is a direct rip-off of the UK's 2005 Eurovision entry, but look at these betting odds! The song has to be good because, well, who'd vote for Belarus otherwise? Current Eurovision betting odds - 8/1

Belgium - (pop. 10,309,725; a country in western Europe); The KMGs (The Krazy Mess Groovers) LovePower

Every atom in our bodies tells us that this year's Belgium Eurovision entry should be awful, for the following reasons. 1) The deliberately-misspelled 'Krazy' in their name, 2) The use of the word 'Groovers' in their name, 3) The way that the Krazy Mess Groovers look like a middle-aged wedding band, 4) The way that their Eurovision song LovePower sounds like the pretend disco theme-tune to Supermarket Sweep, 5) The way that The Krazy Mess Groovers all used to be in a band called SexyFire. In some countries - especially the one inside our head - any one of these offences is punishable by death. However, two minutes into LovePower by The Krazy Mess Groovers, one of them gets a vocoder out, and if there's anything we love it's a bloody vocoder. That brief moment makes up for the fact that the song's official Eurovision lyric sheet honestly contains the line "What schould I fulling to despair". Actually, no it doesn't make up for that. It really doesn't at all. Current Eurovision betting odds - 80/1

Tomorrow - Bosnia & Bulgaria. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.