It's that time again – the time when you leave all notions of good taste, restraint and common sense at the door and enter the increasingly disturbing world of Eurovision betting odds. It's a world where women are women, men are women and Terry Wogan is drunk.

And today we're looking at two of the mightiest Eurovision contenders in all of history. Wait, did we say 'mightiest'? We didn't mean that. We meant… what's the opposite of mighty? Weeny? Useless? Insignificant? Yeah, probably all three of those. One of today's Eurovision contenders has only been part of Eurovision for a year, while the other's most famous Eurovision song was about a lovely farmyard. Keep reading, especially if you're a fan of sexually transmitted diseases.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Armenia and Austria, with help from Paddy Power…

Armenia – (pop. 2,976,372; a landlocked Eurasian country in the Caucasus region): Hayko, Any Time You Need

We're not sure how, but we're fairly certain that Armenia has built a time machine, travelled 20 years into the future, kidnapped the boy from Malcolm In The Middle and brought him back to the present day to force him into singing their Eurovision entry under the guise of Hayko, a slightly nondescript man who's more or less singing an identical song to the Albanian entry, except Hayko's song Any Time You Need is in English, so it'll do better. "Why, baby tell me why/ Does someone always say goodbye?" Dunno Hayko – is it because you're a twat? Apparently Hayko is the best singer in all of Armenia, but we disagree because a) last year's Armenian Eurovision entry was better and b) that's not Hayko, that's the kid from Malcolm In The Middle. Current Eurovision betting odds – 80/1

Austria – (pop. 8,292,322; a landlocked country in central Europe): Eric Papilaya, Get A Life, Get Alive

Get A Life, Get Alive? That's not the name of a song; that's the title of a badly-judged government initiative to get teenagers to take up safe sex. Actually, that's not too far from the truth, as Eric Papilaya is quite keen on performing in front of a giant AIDS ribbon. We're not entirely sure why, because the lyrics to his song don't seem to be all that related to sexually transmitted diseases – "Livin´ in this world ´be a little too much/ Don´t let it get you down/ Get up and strut" it goes, bafflingly – so we've decided that Eric Papilaya must just really like AIDS. As for the song itself, Eric is marching to Eurovision this year with the very worst Bon Jovi B-side ever written. And that's really saying something because, by Christ, Bon Jovi are dreadful. Current Eurovision betting odds – 66/1

Tomorrow – Belarus and Belgium, you lucky dogs. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.