Look, it’s been a rubbish week. Nobody’s got any money and we’ll all be dead by the summer.
But help is at hand. Because now, in today’s Eurovision rundown, we have a treat for you. Something that will blow the gloomy old cobwebs away from your life and give you the best start to the day you have ever head. We’re not exaggerating. Today we bring you the absolute worst Eurovision entry in the entire history of the competition. Excited?
Good. Here it is, then – the 2009 Eurovision entry from the Netherlands, by The Toppers…
Netherlands · The Toppers, Shine
It’s become a recent tradition that the Netherlands never gets through to the Eurovision finals no matter how talented its entries are. And this year, to all intents and purposes, it looks like they’ve given up. Yes, The Toppers might be a record-breaking Dutch supergroup with a string of number one albums and sold-out shows to their name, but look at them. Just. Bloody. Look. At. Them. They’re wearing silver suits, for crying out loud. Two of them have got mullets. And as for Shine itself, any song with the opening line “There are so many wars right now in this World” then goes on to assert that “The only thing that we have to do is love the one we hate… Maybe the answer is just this simple song to keep the world from going wrong” deserves to be punched in the face. This isn’t just the worst Eurovision song we’ve heard this year – there’s a strong chance that this is legitimately the worst thing we’ve ever heard. Ever. Ever. In our entire lives. God, it’s awful.
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL. What a lovely song. I’m thinking about becoming their fan. Sig Solares
You think it is fun to be Dutch? Please be assured, we are not all like that.
LOL “You think it is fun to be Dutch?” /LOL
I thought life in the Netherlands was the freaking BOMB. Everyone has a degree, free everything and no one cries. I’m disappointed.
I like the song. I’ve actually rated it 4 stars in my library. Despite that, I agree that their appearance sucks. It’s bad enough to make them fail progressing to the finals again :/
Ah nice, another vinager pisser.
Have a look outside and stop hiding your head in your back.
They have a nice song and for once a not drop dead stiff presenation.
Smile, be cheerfull and then listen to it again. If not, okay for me. And if you want to piss another tune, even thats fine. But stop at blabbering about something you dont seem to have the faintest clue about.
I like the song.
I think it will be a top ten song.
are you crazy or what?
or you yust don,t like dutch?
thank you stewart for the excellent reporting as always…
i too at first thought it was awful…until i started laughing…
too freaking funny. Its an offense to Dutch people, but the Toppers should hit the comedy circuit..
I thought for a moment, surely it can’t be as bad as they’re saying. Surely there’s some merit to the song…but no. You’re absolutely correct.
Oh, and in response to Dushi: to quote Michael Cain, “nobody likes the Dutch”.
adrienne zammit from malta.we heard that the group the toppers passed bad and nasty comments on chiara.they should do this in the news so the people know to whom they are voting.did they look in the mirror before passing comments like this.vote chiara 12 points and netherlands go home.
You’re right..it is awful.
But The Toppers were mend as a joke.
Because..let’s face it,the whole Eurovision songcontest is a joke.
Especially the last few years. It’s not a songcontest anymore,
but a freakcircus..
The problem is that the most crazy Topper went out of the group..
Leaving behind two somewhat dull,older men.
And the new one isn’t much better..I’m sorry to say..
A pity..That makes the Dutch statement much less powerfull..
check out this:
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20090509/local/chiara-gets-ready-to-party
This will go on stage with big drag queens. It is one of those campy displays of Gay humor.
In the Netherlands the songfestival already was considered to peak Gay humor event of the year, with big parties in gay bars.
Now they get what is popular in there, ultra cheesy not quite serious entertainment with some big mamma’s backing it.
Puzzled whether it will get into the finals.
And it seems now what is the real purpose:
http://www.radionetherlands.nl/currentaffairs/region/netherlands/090811-eurovision-protest
Gordon, the Gay signer has announced they will whitdraw from the contest when the Russian police will block a Gay and Lesbian rights demonstration that is planned before the event.
Gay and Lesbian demos are forbidden in Russia.
I have a strong impression they have had an idea in advance that this kind of stuff might happen. They were on route to do a deliberate provocation.
Too bad that people will always find something bad to say, probably just to make themselves feel better. I don’t particularly like the Toppers, nor am I interested in the Eurovision Song festival, but I try to show respect , respect for all European nations, people, and festivities, whether I like them or not.
Een complete miskleun, De muziek is okay, goede stemmen . Maar ojee de stage. 3 grote taarten op de achtergrond met klunzige danspasjes uit de jaren 70. De volgevreten zangers zijn de aanblik niet waard.
Het geheel is sexy als een potvis.Jammer Inpakken en wegwezen.
Nabeschouwing wat Toppers betreft
Hun lied SHINE vond ik erg goed. melodie en de stemmen tip top.
Jammer DAT DE VISUELE PRESENTATIE niet in overeenstemming was.
Het eurosongfestival is een geld verslindend circus geworden.
De presentatie is naar mijn inziens belangrijker geworden dan het vocale..
Leg me even uit wat landen als Marocco, Libanon en Tunis in het eurocircus te doen hebben.
Holland een goede raad:NIET MEER MEEDOEN. Het voorbeeld volgen van
Spel zonder grenzen.
En wat
stuart heritage, omg!! look at yourself for ones,man you are Butt ugly with a capital B.
Dutchhater XD
Holy crap, just checked out the video posted above, hilarious!!!!
These guys might be big in The Netherlands but come on, on a international platform these geeks are a big laugh if you ask me.
They look pretty dull and have absolutely no charisma or whatsoever. Besides that their stage presence sucks big time. What’s up with the silver suits and the corny dance moves?? Are you serious, millions of people will be watching and this is the best you can do?
The song in itself sucks like hell so they at least could have spent more time on their appearance.
Ah well they were the last to perform and can only imagine they finished last too.
No offence to the Dutch. I mean nothing you can do if this is one of the songs you have to choose from. But for heaven’s sake never send these guys to any event to represent The Netherlands again. I’m sure you can do better than that.
Groeten
This is not the famoust in Holland. We have better singers and better songs. But we never go to the finals. so they decide to send the toppers to eurovision song because maybe we go to the finals with a song like this. The song sucks and we have better singers and groups in the Netherlands. All eastern countrys sucks at eurovision, but they go to the finals. WORSE!!!
The comments over Esat European performances on the Dutch TV were so disparaging, while most of them were much beter than the Dutch one. If only a small part of this brickbat was used to judge the Dutch performance (before sending the Toppers to Moskou), may be there would’t be such a dismal failure.
Hey I am Dutch and very proud of it! … hadn’t seen this yet…what a pile of rubbish!!! No wonder we didn’t go through! (then again it does qualify as proper Eurovision crap, but apparently it was back to being a proper songfestival this year?!?!)
I do agree that this song is absolutely horrible, but the worst entry of the Eurovision Song Festival In History for me will forever remain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8m-ngE570qg
Seriously. What were they thinking?