The Eurovision Song Contest is almost upon us, and…

No, actually, wait. The Eurovision Song Contest isn’t almost upon us at all. It’s weeks away. Honestly, there’s ages before the Eurovision Song Contest. It’s much too early to bother with any of it. Really, it is. Why don’t you take the time you were planning to read this and do something more constructive? Say hi to your neighbour. Write that book you always promised yourself. It’s better this way.

No? Fine then, here’s the Eurovision 2009 rundown for Sasha Son from Lithuania…

Lithuania · Sasha Son, Love

OK, this is just ridiculous. Sasha Son is apparently a big star in Lithuania, although we’d expect that this is more for the stupid angle of his gay little hats than any actual musical ability. If his song Love sounds familiar, it’s because it bascially is – it’s Falling by Alicia Keys but with all the orgasmy noises replaced with mind-numbing generic message placards like ‘Stop The Violence’, ‘A Helping Hand’ and, possibly ‘Can You Pick Up Some More Milk On The Way Home?’. What’s Love about? Well it appears to have some sort of overarching social theme, but it repeats the word ‘love’ 17 times in every chorus so bugger it, let’s say it’s about love. We’ve already spent too long on this dog’s dinner.

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