Ready for another buttload of Eurovision 2009 profiles? Yes, of course you are.

We know we’re hyping this up a bit, but in a few days we’re going to be showing you the worst Eurovision entry we’ve ever heard. It’s awful. It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s so bad it’s genuinely made us contemplate self-harm. It’s horrible. And it’s coming in a few days.

But first here’s the Eurovision 2009 rundown for Nelly Ciobanu from Moldova…

Moldova · Nelly Ciobanu, Hora din Moldova

Jesus lord, Moldova, you’ve thrown down the gauntlet here. If any other European countries thought they could out-weird Moldova, they’re going to have to think again. Look at the picture at the top of this article. That’s Nelly Ciobanu. That’s right – Moldova have entered Cruella DeVille into Eurovision. What’s more, her official Eurovision biography appears to have been written by a mentally-wrong shamen. Look – “One autumn morning in a small village in the south of Moldova a young woman prayed to her god; she asked: “Give me, My God, a girl who would become a singer!”. So on October, 28th 1974 in the village of ??nia in the Kantemirsky region, Nelly Ciobanu entered this life.” What? Bloody WHAT? Moldova, you’ve gone bananas. So bananas, in fact, that we don’t have room to describe your Eurovision entry Hora din Moldova. Except to say that it’s so bizarre that we actually sort of like it.

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