Because of the truncated Easter week, this will be the last Eurovision profile until Tuesday. We assume those are gleeful whoops of sadness you’re doing at the moment.

Ready for your traditional daily Eurovision fact? Of course you are, so here goes – Only three women the orchestra at the Eurovision Song Contest. Nurit Nirsch conducted the Israeli entries of 1973 and 1978, Monica Dominique conducted the Swedish 1973 entry and Anita Kerr appeared in front of the orchestra for Switzerland in 1985. Write that down. We’ll be doing a quiz after the contest. No we won’t.

Here’s the Eurovision 2009 profile for Gypsy.cz, who’ll be representing the Czech Republic…

Czech Republic · Gipsy.cz, Aven Romale

Before you do anything else, read that again. There are warning signs going off, aren’t there? Warning signs like the fact that the band’s name is a cool-in-1998 website domain name, the fact that the rest of their name is a playground curseword, and the fact that Aven Romale translates into Come In Gypsies, which happens to be the name of a particularly toe-curling porno we saw once. Already Gipsy.cz have a lot of ground to make up. And, you know, look at them – a handful of blokes who look like waiters at a novelty tourist restaurant and skinny bloke in a superhero’s unitard and cape. But save your hatred for Aven Romale itself – there aren’t enough words in the English language to describe how hideous it is. Listen for yourselves, but make sure you haven’t eaten anything for a couple of hours beforehand.

Next week: Denmark!

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