Guess what? We’re going to hit you with a brace of new Eurovision 2009 profiles.
Makes a change, eh? Anyway, you’ll be thrilled to learn that we’re about to hit something of a rare streak of form this week. This week we’ll almost certainly be writing about the song that’ll win the Eurovision Song Contest. Luckily, however, we’ve also got the worst song in Eurovision history coming up in a few days as well. Keep your eyes open for that one.
But first, here’s the Eurovision 2009 rundown for Chiara from Malta…
Malta ? Chiara, What If We
Now we know how this works. Malta loves Eurovision and – as we've learnt in previous years – they will defend their song to the death is we even come close to slagging it off. So it's with a heavy heart that we must report that What If We by Chiara is – we can't believe we're saying this – quite good. It's exactly the sort of booming power ballad that Andrew Lloyd Webber should have written for the UK, and Chiara – a Eurovision veteran – manages to belt it out with astounding clarity. But we can't go a whole year without mocking the Maltese, which is why we?d also like to point out that What If We has also got a set of terrible lyrics that appear to have been cribbed from a third-rate self-help book, and also that Chiara is fat. Fat people are funny. Phew, that's better.
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vanessa says
malta will win the eurovision. and even as you sad she is a little bit fat with her voice she will beat every other singer who has figure okkkkkkk
CHIARA THE BEST
James De Giorgio says
Well I’m glad that the only negative thing you could think of was a wide waist…
Otherwise you hit all the right plusses: great voice, powerful song, contagious enthusiasm.
Ah well, we’ll see…
Joanne Caruana says
Just to remind you that this is a song contest not a Miss World Contest. One should vote for the song, the voice and the interpretation. No one can beat Chiara for her unique voice. WELL DONE CHIARA AND GOOD LUCK.
chantellr says
lool! the only reason Malta never won the Eurovision is because it is an island. Thus no neighbor will vote for us. So the fact that Chiara already came in 3rd place and in 2nd place is just amazing! I believe that ur mocking Malta
Carina says
The quality of your Eurovision comments has definitely gone downhill. I think it’s because you are fat, and need to clean out your years.
larisa says
Malta, the best!!!!!
MARGARET says
She maybe be fat but she’s got the best voice and she does’nt even need the music, her voice is so strong and beautiful. GOOD LUCK
CHIARA YOU ARE THE BEST, anyway it’s all goes to politics.
charlotte agius says
how dare you mock fat people like that !!!! who do you think you are to say that you regret saying malta s song is good????? shame on the people who wrote this article …. its pretty clear that youre stupid and concieted … eurovision is really unfair … its based on politics , everybody votes for neighbours .. you really should get a life instead of feeling superior … youre nothing but a dumbass.. go to hell … besides .. this is not a beauty contest , its a SONG contest .. so FUCK YOU
dora says
chiara had the most powerful voice yesterday.you know what,if chiara is a bit chubby,maybe you are as skinny as a skeleton.don’t be rude and ignorant and don’t see people as they are from outside.chiara is the most beautiful girl from all the contest in the festival,and another thing don’t worry maltese now a days have learned that as they have no neighbours they can’t win.CHIARA YOU ARE THE BEST
Kaydee says
“But we can
eli says
whoever say that we can’t win the eurovision is totally wrong…i think you’ve forgotten Ira Losco when we placed 2nd and were on top from the very bigenning of the votings….she was the best, she is the best and she will remain the best..no one can beats her…she had the perfect performance, perfect dress, prefect song, perfect voice, perfect walk, perfect smile, perfect appareance…pefect package!! that night was unforgettable…chiara also placed 2nd, and 3rd. mary spiteri as well…all we need are some original ideas and a nice song that one cannot forget… if we have a great song with great voices…one can never say…Malta had competed with greater countries and i think we should be proud of this…we have such a talent…
;)
Matthew says
It’s a fact that Maltese kids are amongst the fattest in Europe. And the Maltese in general amongst the friendliest, so it’s said.
It’s something that Graham Norton picked up on in his commentary on the 2009 Eurovision, saying that Chiara “had never met a Malteser that she didn’t like”.
I’ve written a glorious history of Maltese Eurovision entries. It’s encyclopedic. Really.
lenise says
balena go akwarju
ADG says
My only response to this article is the link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxjgLQy6Q0A&feature=related
matt hocine says
you are a bigot