Equus: Everybody Loves Harry Potter’s Naked Penis

Daniel Radcliffe Naked Equus play penis Harry PotterEquus – or Harry Potter And The Demented Imaginary Horse-God Who Makes Him Get Naked And Stab A Bunch Of Horses In The Eye With A Metal Spike In A Fairly Disturbing Way as literally nobody is calling it – opened to a sell-out crowd last night.

Despite being one of the most significant dramatic plays to be written in the post-war period – exploring subject-matter as substantial as link between eroticism and Christianity, the expression of sexuality through mutilation and a constant questioning of the worth of normalcy – Equus is the must-see play of the year because Daniel Radcliffe, the actor who plays Harry Potter, gets his penis out and stabs a couple of horses up in it. And just about everyone loves naked Daniel Radcliffe's penis for it.

Until late last year, when you thought of Daniel Radcliffe you thought exclusively of Harry Potter. Harry Potter had made Daniel Radcliffe the richest little boy in the country – so rich, in fact, that all sorts of people wanted to draw pictures of him. But just dressing up as a schoolboy and earning millions of quid for it wasn't enough for Daniel Radcliffe – he wanted to push himself as an actor. So Daniel Radcliffe did the only thing he could – he decided to play a dead soldier. And nobody paid any attention, so he got naked and stabbed a horse in the eye instead.

When Daniel Radcliffe announced last July that he was straying from Harry Potter to indulge in some naked horsey weirdness in Equus he must have had some inkling about what to expect – especially when all the press photos of Harry Potter with his penis out were released – but the reaction was phenomenal. Teenage Harry Potter fans screamed with delight, theatre critics praised Daniel Radcliffe's bravery in taking on a play as extreme as Equus and Warner Bros begrudgingly decided not to sack him from Harry Potter for it.

And last night Daniel Radcliffe in Equus opened at the Gielgud Theatre, and a packed crowd turned up to see what Harry Potter would look like running around naked with his penis flapping about, stabbing horses and screaming at a fat man who dreams that he tears the beating hearts out of hundreds of children at the behest of a mental horse-god thing. Turns out they quite liked it. Charles Spencer of The Telegraph said of Equus:

Daniel Radcliffe brilliantly succeeds in throwing off the mantle of Harry Potter, announcing himself as a thrilling stage actor of unexpected range and depth. Those of us who have watched the Potter films with our families have always liked Radcliffe, who has a rare natural charm about him, and he has improved greatly as an actor as the series has progressed. Despite minimal previous theatrical experience Radcliffe here displays a dramatic power and an electrifying stage presence that marks a tremendous leap forward.

The clamour to see what Harry Potter's cock Daniel Radcliffe's electrifying stage presence looks like has meant that Equus has taken around £1 million in advance tickets, but it's not all sunshine and monkeys for Equus; anti-smoking groups have lashed at Daniel Radcliffe for smoking a cigarette during the play. And fair's fair – a naked 17-year-old boy mutilating six horses with a spike is really no big deal, but smoking? The sick little fucker.

Read more:

Radcliffe's Naked Talent Makes Equus A Hit – Telegraph


  1. Brittany says

    I think it’s horrible that “Harry Potter” is getting naked with a bunch of horses!! We all looked at the “Harry Potter” movies and thought aww … he’s getting cute growing up … now we get to say “aww .. he’s getting NAKED growing up?!?”

  2. Erica says

    Yeah.. I think if I saw that I’d need to get therapy.
    Yet.. I wanna see it.. Cuz it sounds fucking disturbing.

  3. Janet says


    this really made me laugh. it seems the potter boy is growing up…any word if he has lightening shaped scars anywhere else on his body?

  4. Don says

    He’s English so I’d imagine he’ uncut and although I’d suffer major shrinkage on stage, yeah, it would be nice to see the frontal view of this fine young actor

  5. unknown person says

    I think it totally nasty and gross. did you know he smokes too?? he is a BAD teenager!!!!

  6. Qsilver says

    Those articles are not always correct, I bet they found some photo’s and somehow made up that he “FUCKED HORSES”?!?!?!?!

    WTH, i dont think that’s true…

  7. JoelB says

    Having been forced to “do” Equus in college, I can say that it was sick, twisted and generally not nice.

    Why a nice boy would do it without being forced is beyond me.

    I’m off to vomit… the memories…

  8. Jazmin says


  9. says

    live his ass alon if you don’t like clos your eyes his good actor n’ i like his films i don’t care what is he doing

  10. minokey says

    what happended to when he was eleven and with is cute smile, you see this, and, its like his butt is looking at me

  11. Tom Fenton says

    i would love to see Draco Malfoy naked next!! I’ll bet he’s long, uncut and skinny!!

  12. Ryley Ponting says

    damn i want him sprawled on my bed ready to take
    it or we could do it standing up
    but i would suck him off good

  13. sean says

    ok people you can have fun thinking his ass is nice or his cock is awesome but the thing is his cock isn’t all that its cracked up to be. he isn’t cut, you dont see him have a boner and its probally not that bigsure i jacked of to it but i won’t do it again. its just not worth itbut i was happy to see it. : )

  14. James says

    so sean says he is not cut….
    GOOD. We can see all his cock and not just the bit that’s left after mutilation ordered by his parents. A normal cock isn’t cut.

  15. La de da da says

    I can’t believe what comes up when you search Harry Potter. You people are SO sick. Go see a phsycaiatrist! I so spelled that wrong. What do I care? I feel sorry fir him. He’s mentally disturbed!

  16. manifeet says

    daniel radclifffe is so fffn hot i wud
    do him anyday anytime anywhere
    daniel let me juss hit itone time & i
    promise u will b satisfied lolss
    i lov him!!!!!!! & his butt 😀