Enchanted Enchants Enchanting Weekend Box Office Enchantingly

The heavyweights of cartoon/ live-action hybrids - Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Space Jam, that thing with Paula Abdul and the chain-smoking hip-hop cat - must now all make room for Enchanted.

Disney's latest movie Enchanted is the number one movie at the US weekend box office. Oh, you know Enchanted - it's hardly as if you've been able to go more than ten seconds without seeing an Enchanted trailer, billboard or large cinema cardboard cut-out looming down at you lately, is it? But it's not just relentless promotion that's pushed Enchanted to the top of the weekend box office - Enchanted also teachers the viewer several profound socially-relevant lessons too, as shown in the Enchanted scenes where everyone mocks the midget and the chipmunk pulls a funny face. Or something.

Enchanted - the top movie at the weekend box office - is obviously Disney's attempt at Shrek-style self-parody, because it would be funny and completely original to have a member of royalty from another culture plunge head-first into modern-day New York and react strangely to everything that most people see as normal these days. Kind of like Coming To America but with that git from Grey's Anatomy instead of any black people. Here's the US weekend box office top five…

1 - Enchanted (It'd also be funny and completely original if at certain points throughout a movie, the characters kept attempting to break into song as if it was normal. Kind of like Monty Python And The Holy Grail but with that git from Grey's Anatomy instead of any funny jokes) $35,332,000

2 - This Christmas (A family of black people reuniting and discussing their feelings in forensic detail? Is it a Tyler Perry film? No, because then it'd be called Tyler Perry's This Christmas. In that respect we're beginning to learn that determining the authorship of emotional African American comedy dramas is a little like the game Simon Says) $18,600,000

3 - Beowulf (Don't forget that in terms of motion capture technology, Beowulf is ten times better than The Polar Express. That means that the next Robert Zemeckis motion capture movie will be ten times better again. Maybe he'll even get the characters' mouths to move in time with the words by then) $16,240,000

4 - Hitman (A movie based on a computer game that nobody has thought about since 2002. Maybe next year the studio will get it together and produce something more contemporary, like a movie remake of Halo 2 or Tiger Woods 2004) $13,035,000

5 - Bee Movie (Jerry Seinfeld has now done so well from Bee Movie that he's planned a second sequel, Dee Movie - about Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, Dee Dee Ramone, Dee Henderson, Jack Dee, Mikkey Dee, John Dee, Kiki Dee, Papa Dee, Daisy Dee and Waddle Dee all embarking on a hilarious computer animated adventure about the Dead End Elimination algorithm. On the river Dee. Only using words that begin with the letter D. Let's hope Bee Movie drops out of the weekend box office top five next week, because we're buggered if we're doing all that again for E Movie) $12,010,000

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Weekend Box Office - Box Office Mojo