Is that a Big Fat American Horror Story wedding that I see charging over the horizon? Hey, it looks angry. Quick, we better hide up that tree whilst we discuss the fact that Emma Roberts is set to marry Evan Peters.
Emma ‘Did I mention that I’m Julia Roberts’ niece?’ Roberts – to use her full name – got engaged to her longtime boyfriend and occasional punchbag Evan Peters over the festive period. Actually, they’ve only been together since mid-2012, but by celebrity standards they should already have had a stint on Couples Therapy and a child named after an airline or a household detergent.
26-year old Evan popped the question to 22-year old Julia Roberts’ Niece while the pair were in New York City for the holidays, with a gold and pink diamond ring to back it up. Phew, that sounds like some nice hardware. Who knew that playing a brain dead fratboy on American Horror Story paid such a decent wage?
The duo then spent New Years in London, probably preparing for the barrage of people trying to find a tactful way to say: “Uh, didn’t you get arrested for punching him in the face a few months ago?”.She did, in case you were wondering.
Six months ago, Julia Roberts’ Niece was arrested in Vancouver following a noise complaint from other people staying in the same hotel, which isn’t as sexy as you’d think. Police reportedly found Evan with a bloody nose and several bite marks, which still isn’t as sexy as you’d think because they appeared to be the result of a bust-up between Evan and Julia Robert’s Niece.
The couple chalked it up to an ‘unfortunate incident’ and moved on. So far on, in fact, that it looks like they’ve decided to spend the rest of their lives together, a plan that some people might predict will also end in the phrase ‘unfortunate incident’. But we’re not that cynical around here, and I’m sure you’ll join me in wishing them a happy twelve to fourteen months of marriage.