A little help here, please. Now that Eminem has just now legally divorced Kim Mathers for the second time, what does that make her in relation to him – we can't decide if Kim is now Eminem's ex-wife, ex-ex-wife or ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-wife.
Either way, Eminem and Kim both showed up in Macomb County Circuit Court briefly yesterday to put an end to the eight months of legal divorce settlement messiness that followed after their bewildering decision to get married to each other again this year went sour. Now that Eminem and Kim Mathers have finally divorced each other for the second time, it leaves Eminem plenty of time to fall in love with Kim again, marry her again, have an argument again and divorce her again approximately ten billion times before December 2007.
It was just over a year ago that Eminem told the world he wanted to get married to his ex-wife Kim again, prompting the universal response "What? The same Kim that you murdered in a song? The same Kim that's the subject of your 'Rot In Pieces'? tattoo? Are you sure this is really a good idea?" But Eminem being Eminem, he ignored everyone's opinion, applied for a marriage license and got married to Kim in January of this year. However, despite the avalanche of confusion, Eminem got the last laugh – people gave the marriage six months but Eminem had buggered it up in less than three. Take that, haters!
Eminem and Kim Mathers split up back in April, but technically they've remained married since then thanks to their steadfast refusal to be polite enough to each other to work out a sensible divorce settlement properly. Then in September Eminem and Kim got a mediator in to try and work out who got what percentage of their daughter when they sliced her down the middle. But now, finally, Eminem and Kim Mathers are officially divorced all over again, as E! Online reports:
The Detroit rapper's second divorce from Kim Mathers was made official Tuesday after the estranged couple appeared at a brief settlement hearing in Macomb County Circuit Court, area newspapers report. Three months after the pair failed to hammer out a settlement agreement, sending the case to mediation, the duo formerly known as Mr. and Mrs. Marshall Bruce Mathers III told Circuit Judge Antonio Viviano that they had arrived at a private out-of-court arrangement and understand that the split is now final. Eminem and Mathers will share legal and physical custody of 10-year-old daughter Hailie Jade Scott.
Now that Eminem is a single man again, he can concentrate on looking after his other interests, like not punching men unconscious in toilets, keeping a close eye on his burgeoning ringtone empire is and starring in rubbish-sounding films about cowboys. That is, of course, unless Eminem and Kim decided to have a divorce party, hit the sparkling wine a bit too hard and ended up falling in love and getting engaged again which – let's face it – has probably already happened by now.
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Pri says
I’m sayin 3 ex’s. His ex-ex-ex-wife. Because first she was his wife, then his ex-wife, then they got married again, so she was his ex-ex-wife. Now they’re divorced so she’s his EX-ex-ex-wife. Right?
Gilbert Wham says
Meta-Ex. It’s like a tesseract you can argue with.