Elton John: You Scruffy Bands Should Dress More Like Me

Elton John Fashion Dress BandsElton John has started a number of trends lately – like the trend for listening to arse like James Blunt and the trend for short bald tubby gay men relentlessly slagging off everything they can think of – but at least his dress sense never caught on.

Elton John, remember, is a man who used to wear glasses so exceptionally big and shit that he made Su Pollard look like a newsreader. The thing is, though, Elton John misses that flamboyance. In his latest unprovoked rant, Elton John has lashed out at all new American bands for not having the same fearless fashion sense as he did. Which would be nice, had Elton John not spend quite a big slice of his life playing the piano while dressed up as Donald sodding Duck.

Marriage is supposed to calm you down, isn't it? Either that or turn you into an unhappy fat paranoid alcoholic mess. But we digress – our point is that since Elton John got married last year he hasn't really calmed down any, has he? Elton John has kept himself busy this year by writing disappointing vampire musicals, suing anyone that says he's rude and then asking for every photographer in the world to be shot.

And to add to this, Elton John has decided to lay into the way that all the new bands dress. That's Elton John – a man who annually looks at his wardrobe, goes "ugh, fucking hell, what was I thinking?" and then sells it all off for charity – actually telling people what clothes they should wear. In an interview with Fashion Rocks magazine, Elton says:

"It's been a thing the British have always been very good at, with Bowie, myself, T.Rex, the Who, Queen. … We all embraced that side of it. And I think it's good that some American bands are beginning to do that, but it's still very rare for bands to make a real effort. So when you get groups like The Killers and Scissor Sisters who come along, it's thrilling. I'm so over the tattoos and the T-shirts and rings through the noses. It's not pretty, it's not pleasant, it's not exciting. Please stop it now."

In the interview, Elton John also revealed that the reason he dressed so flamboyantly was to keep people's attention as he sat playing his piano for long stretches of time, a problem that would have been much more easily solved if he actually wrote some songs that were any good for once.

Read more:

Elton John: Get Some Fashion Sense! – USA Today

[story by Stuart Heritage] 


  1. Kateri says

    you bloody mongrels Elton is probably a nice guy but all you see of him is a f*****g achoholic you pricks!