Usually a story about a lesbian three-way would excite every single slightly grubby man in the world, but not this one – it’s a story about a lesbian in a three-way car crash. But you can always dream can’t you, you filthy pervert.

At the weekend, Ellen DeGeneres managed to find herself caught in the middle of a three-car crash in Los Angeles that was suspected to have been caused by a drink-driver. However, Ellen DeGeneres escaped from the car crash with only very slight injuries, which is good news for her but still doesn’t cover up the fact that her 1990s sitcom wasn’t very good.