Here's some terrifying news – there's still about five months until the Oscars take place, but Oscars hype is already building with the news that rubbish mid-nineties sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres will host the 2007 ceremony.
Hosting the Oscars is a notoriously tricky affair and it could be the toughest job that Ellen DeGeneres has ever taken on, since performing a song about how old Jack Nicholson looks that doesn't sound too much like the other 60 awards ceremony songs about how old Jack Nicholson looks is a task beyond most people. However, when you realise that the primary requirement of Ellen DeGeneres at the Oscars is to be roughly as good as Billy Crystal, things don't look anything but rosy.
It's wonderful the things that a car crash can do for your career. Look at Ellen DeGeneres – last week she was a daytime TV host with a past career of being a cartoon fish and making a sitcom that wasn't very good. But now – following her disappointing three-way car crash at the weekend – Ellen DeGeneres has been announced as the new host of the Oscars.
Relax, though; the Oscars won't be taking place until February 25, so there's a lot of time left until the cinemas start getting clogged up with three-hour-long, chronically self-important, desperately po-faced movies that nobody wants to watch but sort of feels obliged to because someone on GMTV who wants to look cleverer than they are says how moving it is.
Instead, it's thought that the early announcement of Ellen DeGeneres as the Oscars host will save the embarrassment of this year's Oscars, where nobody wanted anything to do with it until Jon Stewart got the Oscars-hosting nod in January and then went onto make all of Hollywood a bit sad because he didn't think that actors saved the world as much as actors did. Anyway, at least Ellen DeGeneres is happy this way:
"When (Oscars producer) Laura Ziskin called, I was thrilled. There's two things I've always wanted to do in my life. One is to host the Oscars. The second is to get a call from Laura Ziskin. You can imagine that day's diary entry."
Ha – that's just an example of the comedic skills that Ellen DeGeneres will be showing off on Oscars night. Laura Ziskin herself seems to be pleased that the Oscars hosting job was passed on smoothly:
"Ellen DeGeneres was born to host the Academy Awards. There is no more challenging hosting job in show business. It requires someone who can keep the show alive and fresh and moving, as well as someone who is a flat-out great entertainer. Ellen completely fits the bill."
Although Ellen DeGeneres being chosen to host the Oscars next year might look like a disappointingly safe choice after this year's ceremony – and almost certainly a sign that Billy Crystal blew the Oscars off again – remember this: Ellen DeGeneres now has five whole months to really nail that opening "Guess we don't have gift-bags, huh?" opening quip.
Read more:
Ellen Called To Oscar Duty – People
[story by Stuart Heritage]