Ellen DeGeneres’ Dog Goes To New Non-Weeping Owner

Ellen DeGeneres Iggy New Home Dog Mutts & Moms ownerThe situation between Ellen DeGeneres, Iggy The Dog, the Mutts & Moms dog adoption agency and the sobbing children of Ellen DeGeneres' hairdresser has got so bad that Iggy is now in the dog witness protection scheme.

After all that's happened to Iggy The Dog – getting his balls chopped off, going to live with Ellen DeGeneres, moving home again, getting removed from the new home, making Ellen DeGeneres cry on TV, causing all kinds of death threats – Mutts & Moms has found a new home for Iggy where he'll be free of all the unwanted publicity from recent days. It all comes at a cost, though – the identity of Iggy's new owner is being tightly guarded to put an end to any more trouble. But this means that everything can get back to normal again, at least until next week when Ellen DeGeneres starts crying on TV because an adoption agency won't let her dress a captive bear up as a butler and make it tapdance around her kitchen even though she paid for it to have its balls chopped off.

For a while last week it looked as if the saga over Ellen DeGeneres and her dog was going to tear the entire world apart. Battle lines were drawn up between those who saw Ellen DeGeneres sobbing on TV and decided that they'd rather murder some animal care workers than see their favourite daytime millionaire lesbian upset for a moment longer, and those who thought that Ellen DeGeneres had broken the terms of her contract by fobbing off her adopted dog to her hairdresser the moment she got bored of it and agreed that Iggy should have been taken back into care. This was the sort of thing that could destroy families, reduce communities to piles of smouldering rubble, and, um, allow Ellen DeGeneres to take a long weekend.

And now it's all over. The Mutts & Moms dog adoption agency has been so determined not to give Iggy back to Ellen DeGeneres or her hairdresser that it has already found Iggy a new home. But just to make sure that nobody finds Iggy, kidnaps it and takes it to Ellen DeGeneres under the blinding misapprehension that Ellen will want to be their friend for doing so, Iggy's new home has been kept secret. And that's undoubtedly a good thing according to the Mutts & Moms attorney, who doubles as the most sarcastic man in the world. The Associated Press reports:

Iggy was placed with a new family earlier this week, a spokesman for the agency's owners said Friday. "We're not revealing the family's identity to protect their privacy," attorney Keith A. Fink told The Associated Press. "The dog is fine."… Marina Batkis and Vanessa Chekroun, who own the nonprofit Mutts and Moms adoption agency, said DeGeneres violated her signed agreement, which called for Iggy to be returned if things didn't work out. After DeGeneres opened Tuesday's show with a tearful plea for the dog's return, Batkis said she and Chekroun were deluged with angry messages and phone calls, including death threats. "Ellen sitting in her yacht, sipping cognac, and these two women are devastated," Fink said.

And now the story has reached its end, it's time for each party in the saga to move on – Iggy can start working on his after dinner speaking career, where he can reel out stories like 'how I made that lesbian off the TV cry. No, not Rosie, the other one', Mutts & Moms can start finding homes for dogs again without fear of getting jumped by a gang of elderly Ellen enthusiasts and, as for Ellen DeGeneres, she'll soon learn that the world is full of animals that need her help. Not only are there many animals out there who would love a brand new home, but some of them also still have their balls attached. And, as we all know, Ellen won't rest until she's chopped off all the balls of all the animals in the world.

Read more:

DeGeneres Pooch gets New Home – Associated Press 

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Comments

  1. EATMYDICK says

    Its called neutering…and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are too many dogs out there and many are killed each day because they can’t get adopted. Someone who has a passion like that for animals and does whatever she can for them should not be bashed! Whats her being a lesbian have ANYTHING to do with this story? Whoever wrote this article is a disgrace to humanity!!! Ellen gives back to the community and makes people feel happy..what do you do, act like your in high school and talk crap about people for no reason and be a bully? Shame on you!

  2. FUCKYOU says

    Mr Stuart Heritage,
    YOU are a low-life, heartless scumbag.. I’m positive that your career as a so-callled writer is over by now, and hopefully, someone has “chopped your balls off” in the meanwhile. Ellen is a wonderful, beautiful person inside and out, and she was trying to do something positive in this world, unlike you. She sure wasnt writing articles that are distasteful, discriminating, and just plain mean spirited. Also, I would like to echo the comment above me. What the hell does being a lesbian have anything to do with this story? You continue to attack over and over in this article, “jumped by a gang of elderly enthusiasts”? I do not watch her show; I guess according to you, I would be too young. At the same time, I would never call Mutts&Moms and threaten a person’s life over this, but I have to say, after reading your disgusting article, I will be watching Ellen from now on, and I could only pray to God that karma truly does exist, and hopefully in the last few years, it’s hit you hard.

  3. WHATAJACKASS says

    You are disgusting, dispicable, and disgraceful. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Perhaps you should go back to writing school and learn to compose articles that have some relevance in this world, rather than trashing good-hearted, giving people for doing the right thing. Never forget, what goes around comes around.

  4. Brilliant says

    This article is brilliant. Ellen is not above the the law. She broke her agreement and she payed the price, it’s her own stupid cunty fault. I personally would have loved it if someone actually did assault the adoption owner. Then the media would blame Ellen and her career would be in the fucking toilet were it belongs. Fuck Ellen, she’s not funny or good for anything, except making stupid fat people dance on her show .

  5. lily says

    wow, those are some tough words coming from some lame pseudo-writer spencer pratt wannabe. if more dogs had ‘their balls chopped off’ there would far less unwanted strays ending up homeless or euthanized. and may i also suggest implementing a douchebag reduction eugenics program, where tools like ‘stuart heritage’ (really?) have their balls chopped off before they are allowed to reproduce and pass on the asshole gene to their inevitably asshole kids.

  6. Kelly says

    Your just as fucking dumb as the person who wrote the artical, you obviously dont do anything worth while if you go around slagging people off for your own pleasure, you probably get a thrill out of it! You must have a very crappy life if you go around bitching about people just to make yourself fill better! I pity you i really do!!!

  7. charlie says

    what a terrible person, let alone writer. you show your true colors in the piece of shit article. people like you deserve nothing but the worst in life.

  8. OMGK says

    UM wow-”Brilliant” you are stupid as can be. Not only are you so wrong in your wrong boat floating on the sea of wrong but you have also misspelled “where”. You used “were” in it’s place. Congratulations on your stupidity. I’m sure you will be very happy together. All of you who side with this article must have miserable lives so I won’t insult you any further. No sense in trying to crack what is already broken.

  9. Reasonable says

    So…a lot of the comments on this article have gone to the opposite extreme and don’t really stand blameless as they are full of rage, but I’m afraid they raise good points. I am not a fan of Ellen. I like her and I think she tries to do good things. I think she should not have brought her personal issues onto the show, and I think she did the wrong thing by violating the written contract. She didn’t (and probably shouldn’t) have turned it into an enormous media circus.

    This article, however, is poorly written. “Chopping balls off” dogs, as you so vulgarly put it, is the responsible choice. Shelters are full of dogs and strays exist because people can’t or won’t take care of them, and a great deal of the problem is overpopulation and irresponsible pet owners who refuse to spade or neuter. Controlling the dog population may sound terrible, but it’s a responsibility we have towards domesticated animals. Deal with it.

    Ellen’s sexual preference has nothing to do with this issue. Bringing it up is childish, to say the least.

    You raise interesting points with regards to using the media for personal issues (with great power comes great responsibility and all that), but unfortunately your lack of professionalism makes many of the views in the ensuing comments wholly justified. Go back and learn how to write balanced, unbiased articles. Even opinion pieces look better when they aren’t as clearly biased as your article. Your writing talent and the overall intelligence of your readers will improve when you learn to balance an issue properly.

  10. theresa cecchini says

    There are quite a few ignorant comments. Most based on fear! I personally do not believe in homosexuality, but I do like Ellen! I try not to judge! Who Am I to judge? that is up to our creator! what I do know is that she is a very compassionate , giving, huge hearted human being and thinks with her heart, and that is exactly what she did. She loves animals, she rescued a dog, this dog did not get along with her cats, it was not the best place for the dog, and before she thought to call back the rescue agency, she had a loving home who wanted the dog, and bonded with the dog….this is what it is about, finding a good home for the animals! fuck the rules when it comes to finding homes for animals! some of these rescues and shelters care more about thir rules than the animals, and will allow the animals to die first! And I am sure some celebrity jealousy played a part! And whoever this writer was, obviously has some serious issues with women in general! Yes! Animals need to be nuetered! and spayed! We need to prevent these poor unwanted pups and kitties from eding up in these shelters and being killed on a daily basis!

  11. Angela James says

    Wow…this writer is animal -illliterate! Spaying and neutering is expected in this modern society. We are trying to eliminate the killing of millions of healthy, loving animals in shelters every year in the United States.

    Maybe if this writer does not give a rip about animal overpopulation, he should at least research the health benefits of a neutered dog vs. an unneutered dog. Maybe he should adopt an unneutered dog at a shelter, try to stop him from marking the entire house, stop him from humping the furniture and his guests, and then think about how many animals are actually returned to shelters because of these “unneutered behaviors”.

    What a moron!

  12. Peggy Millender says

    Good grief! Yes Ellen should have read the fine print and yes they must have rules so dogs are not adopted into fighting rings. However, where in the heck did common sense go? It is obvious that this dog had found a good home and an 11 and 12 year old girls would be great with a small dog. They hardly qualify as small children. I guess some adoption agencies have become so hard core and rigid that they have no faith in humanity. Give Ellen a spanking for making a mistake and let the kids have their dog. Whomever runs that agency is on a serious ego trip. I am fairly certain she knew Ellen would not let this dog be hurt. So mich for honesty. Where did the common sense go?

  13. Cody says

    Ok ellen is an amazing person not just a ball chopper maybe u need ur balls cut off. She saved an animal and did what was right gave it a home but no people like u have to ruin a family’s spirits and place the dog in another home. Dogs can get diseases in their balls yes so ellen helped the dog live a long life . ASSHOLE

  14. Azzy says

    It’s too bad that Mutts & Moms didn’t give Iggy back to the family that loved him. I mean by now the youngest girl is older that 14, the required age for families that adopt small dogs from Mutts & Moms, and the new family of Iggy would not have to be guarded by death threats. I remember watching the episode when Ellen was telling everyone what happened to Iggy when I was little, is it so wrong that all Ellen wanted was for Iggy to go to a wonderful home that she KNOWS will be good to him. The person that wrote this article obviously has their own personal vendetta toward Mrs. DeGeneres.

  15. Sigh... says

    Okay, everything has all been said and done basically summing up what I think, but I just thought I’d share, too.
    The sarcastic, rude, better-than-everyone tone that Stuart here decided to use in this article CLEARLY showed a reflection on his disgusting personality. Like I said, it’s already been said BUT:

    1) “Balls chopped off” makes him sound insanely immature. It’s neutered, and it’s for the good of the dogs to not rot and die in kennels.
    2) Repeatedly including Ellen’s sexual preference is also extremely immature. Who gives a shit if she’s a lesbian? It has nothing to do with this story, or anything else for that matter.

    This ‘straight person’ who wrote the article is an ignorant prick. Sounds retarded and unnecessary to add the straight part doesn’t it?

    That’s all, good day.

  16. Sherry says

    *Brilliant*????? You make me sick. You are the real definition of stupid to me. You must be ugly or something to be so full of hatred.

  17. Jenn H says

    Most shelters and rescues actually REQUIRE that the dog or cat by spayed or neutered prior to ever leaving the shelter to help cut down on the number of strays and unwanted animal population. It’s interesting that the writer chose the most vulgar way to state that Ellen went to extent of doing something that is common practice across the country. I’m certain that the writer wanted to highlight the fact that Ellen is a lesbian and therefore must be a “man-hating feminist” wishing to, as the writer so eloquently (NOT!) put it “chop all men’s ball off.” While Ellen did violate the contract, which she did admit to, I still don’t see why the new family couldn’t keep the dog. It seems that the rule of not adopting out small dogs to families with children under 14 is going to leave a lot of small dogs out in the cold come adoption day. If I had a young child in the home still, I sure as heck wouldn’t want a Rottweiler, Doberman or any other large dog in the house without seriously spending time with the animal first to find out it’s temperament towards children and people in general. I’d much rather bring home a beagle or terrier instead. Sadly, it’s the few rescues like this one that give all rescues a bad rap and make it that much more difficult for homeless animals to get help.