The situation between Ellen DeGeneres, Iggy The Dog, the Mutts & Moms dog adoption agency and the sobbing children of Ellen DeGeneres' hairdresser has got so bad that Iggy is now in the dog witness protection scheme.
After all that's happened to Iggy The Dog – getting his balls chopped off, going to live with Ellen DeGeneres, moving home again, getting removed from the new home, making Ellen DeGeneres cry on TV, causing all kinds of death threats – Mutts & Moms has found a new home for Iggy where he'll be free of all the unwanted publicity from recent days. It all comes at a cost, though – the identity of Iggy's new owner is being tightly guarded to put an end to any more trouble. But this means that everything can get back to normal again, at least until next week when Ellen DeGeneres starts crying on TV because an adoption agency won't let her dress a captive bear up as a butler and make it tapdance around her kitchen even though she paid for it to have its balls chopped off.
For a while last week it looked as if the saga over Ellen DeGeneres and her dog was going to tear the entire world apart. Battle lines were drawn up between those who saw Ellen DeGeneres sobbing on TV and decided that they'd rather murder some animal care workers than see their favourite daytime millionaire lesbian upset for a moment longer, and those who thought that Ellen DeGeneres had broken the terms of her contract by fobbing off her adopted dog to her hairdresser the moment she got bored of it and agreed that Iggy should have been taken back into care. This was the sort of thing that could destroy families, reduce communities to piles of smouldering rubble, and, um, allow Ellen DeGeneres to take a long weekend.
And now it's all over. The Mutts & Moms dog adoption agency has been so determined not to give Iggy back to Ellen DeGeneres or her hairdresser that it has already found Iggy a new home. But just to make sure that nobody finds Iggy, kidnaps it and takes it to Ellen DeGeneres under the blinding misapprehension that Ellen will want to be their friend for doing so, Iggy's new home has been kept secret. And that's undoubtedly a good thing according to the Mutts & Moms attorney, who doubles as the most sarcastic man in the world. The Associated Press reports:
Iggy was placed with a new family earlier this week, a spokesman for the agency's owners said Friday. "We're not revealing the family's identity to protect their privacy," attorney Keith A. Fink told The Associated Press. "The dog is fine."… Marina Batkis and Vanessa Chekroun, who own the nonprofit Mutts and Moms adoption agency, said DeGeneres violated her signed agreement, which called for Iggy to be returned if things didn't work out. After DeGeneres opened Tuesday's show with a tearful plea for the dog's return, Batkis said she and Chekroun were deluged with angry messages and phone calls, including death threats. "Ellen sitting in her yacht, sipping cognac, and these two women are devastated," Fink said.
And now the story has reached its end, it's time for each party in the saga to move on – Iggy can start working on his after dinner speaking career, where he can reel out stories like 'how I made that lesbian off the TV cry. No, not Rosie, the other one', Mutts & Moms can start finding homes for dogs again without fear of getting jumped by a gang of elderly Ellen enthusiasts and, as for Ellen DeGeneres, she'll soon learn that the world is full of animals that need her help. Not only are there many animals out there who would love a brand new home, but some of them also still have their balls attached. And, as we all know, Ellen won't rest until she's chopped off all the balls of all the animals in the world.
Read more:
DeGeneres Pooch gets New Home – Associated Press
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Its called neutering…and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are too many dogs out there and many are killed each day because they can’t get adopted. Someone who has a passion like that for animals and does whatever she can for them should not be bashed! Whats her being a lesbian have ANYTHING to do with this story? Whoever wrote this article is a disgrace to humanity!!! Ellen gives back to the community and makes people feel happy..what do you do, act like your in high school and talk crap about people for no reason and be a bully? Shame on you!
Mr Stuart Heritage,
YOU are a low-life, heartless scumbag.. I’m positive that your career as a so-callled writer is over by now, and hopefully, someone has “chopped your balls off” in the meanwhile. Ellen is a wonderful, beautiful person inside and out, and she was trying to do something positive in this world, unlike you. She sure wasnt writing articles that are distasteful, discriminating, and just plain mean spirited. Also, I would like to echo the comment above me. What the hell does being a lesbian have anything to do with this story? You continue to attack over and over in this article, “jumped by a gang of elderly enthusiasts”? I do not watch her show; I guess according to you, I would be too young. At the same time, I would never call Mutts&Moms and threaten a person’s life over this, but I have to say, after reading your disgusting article, I will be watching Ellen from now on, and I could only pray to God that karma truly does exist, and hopefully in the last few years, it’s hit you hard.
You are disgusting, dispicable, and disgraceful. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Perhaps you should go back to writing school and learn to compose articles that have some relevance in this world, rather than trashing good-hearted, giving people for doing the right thing. Never forget, what goes around comes around.
This article is brilliant. Ellen is not above the the law. She broke her agreement and she payed the price, it’s her own stupid cunty fault. I personally would have loved it if someone actually did assault the adoption owner. Then the media would blame Ellen and her career would be in the fucking toilet were it belongs. Fuck Ellen, she’s not funny or good for anything, except making stupid fat people dance on her show .
Grow up, idiot
Your just as fucking dumb as the person who wrote the artical, you obviously dont do anything worth while if you go around slagging people off for your own pleasure, you probably get a thrill out of it! You must have a very crappy life if you go around bitching about people just to make yourself fill better! I pity you i really do!!!
Fuck you – you little tick terd. You’re a shithead like your buddy Stuart.
wow, those are some tough words coming from some lame pseudo-writer spencer pratt wannabe. if more dogs had ‘their balls chopped off’ there would far less unwanted strays ending up homeless or euthanized. and may i also suggest implementing a douchebag reduction eugenics program, where tools like ‘stuart heritage’ (really?) have their balls chopped off before they are allowed to reproduce and pass on the asshole gene to their inevitably asshole kids.
what a terrible person, let alone writer. you show your true colors in the piece of shit article. people like you deserve nothing but the worst in life.
UM wow-”Brilliant” you are stupid as can be. Not only are you so wrong in your wrong boat floating on the sea of wrong but you have also misspelled “where”. You used “were” in it’s place. Congratulations on your stupidity. I’m sure you will be very happy together. All of you who side with this article must have miserable lives so I won’t insult you any further. No sense in trying to crack what is already broken.
So…a lot of the comments on this article have gone to the opposite extreme and don’t really stand blameless as they are full of rage, but I’m afraid they raise good points. I am not a fan of Ellen. I like her and I think she tries to do good things. I think she should not have brought her personal issues onto the show, and I think she did the wrong thing by violating the written contract. She didn’t (and probably shouldn’t) have turned it into an enormous media circus.
This article, however, is poorly written. “Chopping balls off” dogs, as you so vulgarly put it, is the responsible choice. Shelters are full of dogs and strays exist because people can’t or won’t take care of them, and a great deal of the problem is overpopulation and irresponsible pet owners who refuse to spade or neuter. Controlling the dog population may sound terrible, but it’s a responsibility we have towards domesticated animals. Deal with it.
Ellen’s sexual preference has nothing to do with this issue. Bringing it up is childish, to say the least.
You raise interesting points with regards to using the media for personal issues (with great power comes great responsibility and all that), but unfortunately your lack of professionalism makes many of the views in the ensuing comments wholly justified. Go back and learn how to write balanced, unbiased articles. Even opinion pieces look better when they aren’t as clearly biased as your article. Your writing talent and the overall intelligence of your readers will improve when you learn to balance an issue properly.
There are quite a few ignorant comments. Most based on fear! I personally do not believe in homosexuality, but I do like Ellen! I try not to judge! Who Am I to judge? that is up to our creator! what I do know is that she is a very compassionate , giving, huge hearted human being and thinks with her heart, and that is exactly what she did. She loves animals, she rescued a dog, this dog did not get along with her cats, it was not the best place for the dog, and before she thought to call back the rescue agency, she had a loving home who wanted the dog, and bonded with the dog….this is what it is about, finding a good home for the animals! fuck the rules when it comes to finding homes for animals! some of these rescues and shelters care more about thir rules than the animals, and will allow the animals to die first! And I am sure some celebrity jealousy played a part! And whoever this writer was, obviously has some serious issues with women in general! Yes! Animals need to be nuetered! and spayed! We need to prevent these poor unwanted pups and kitties from eding up in these shelters and being killed on a daily basis!