Elizabeth Taylor Isn’t Dead

Elizabeth Taylor is famous for a few things, like being friends with Michael Jackson and getting married three billion times and having nice eyes which made up for her lack of acting talent and being constantly on the brink of death.

But no! That last one is a giant fib! Because, despite a flurry of recent newspaper and magazine reports to the contrary, Elizabeth Taylor isn't dead, or suffering from Alzheimer's, or ever planning to die. And we have this on the highest authority, because Elizabeth Taylor said so. And it was live on TV, so we could see her moving and everything. Unless some kind of hideous reanimated Taylor-lookalike corpse was used to give the impression of Elizabeth Taylor being hunky dory, and that doesn't even bear thinking about.

Elizabeth Taylor has had a glittering movie career. She was Cleopatra! She was Katharina in The Taming Of The Shrew! She was Fred Flintstone's mother-in-law! But lately, Elizabeth Taylor has been famous for being a frail old woman who obsesses over her dog and hangs around with Michael Jackson while she waits to die. That's if you believe all the recent reports that say Elizabeth Taylor has been battered by Alzheimer's disease and is close to death, anyway.

Elizabeth Taylor doesn't seem to believe these reports - she is Elizabeth Taylor, after all - and she went on Larry King Live to publicly refute all the stories:

"Oh come on! Do I look like I'm dying? Do I look like or sound like I have Alzheimer's? I think they're trying to sell magazines. Some audience out there… they like scandal. They like filth. And if they want to hear that I'm dead, sorry folks. I'm not. And I don't plan on it."

That's us told, then. But that isn't to say that Elizabeth Taylor is as healthy as can be - she uses a wheelchair for mobility due to chronic back pain, and in the last few years she has been treated for congestive heart failure and a form of skin cancer. Basically, we're saying that we could probably beat Elizabeth Taylor in a cage fight.

Read more:

Elizabeth Taylor Scoffs At Alzheimer's Reports - Reuters

[story by Stuart Heritage]