Ever since Rosie O’Donnell left The View, there’s been a hole in Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s life – a big, attention-seeking, red-faced hole that won’t stop screaming unless you plug it onto the end of a boob.

But now that hole has been filled by Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s newborn baby son. Not much was known about Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s son – other than that it’s going to rebel harder than any other child in history in about 16 years’ time – but then Elisabeth Hasselbeck called The View yesterday to reveal all. Apparently Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s new baby is called Taylor Thomas Hasselbeck and weighs 7 pounds, 15 ounces. Hasselbeck would have gone into more detail on The View but she cut things short because she knows that the first few days of a child’s life are critical for force-feeding it crackpot right-wing patriotic nonsense before it learns how to say “shut up” or put its fingers in its ears.