Edward Norton Doesn’t Have A Clue About The Incredible Hulk 2

by Stuart Heritage on September 16, 2008 5 Comments

In the year of Iron Man and The Dark Knight, The Incredible Hulk got somewhat overlooked – which is fortunate because it was a bag of bums.

Quite how much Edward Norton had to do with The Incredible Hulk being a bag of bums is unknown – hacked off at Marvel’s refusal to listen to him, he gathered up his blanket and flounced off in a strop right before the movie came out.

And that could be why Edward Norton doesn’t know if he’s got a future with The Incredible Hulk or not – if he’ll be in a sequel or if there’ll even be a sequel at all. Hopefully there’s a logical reason for this – like because the Marvel heads are too busy trying to track down and destroy every copy of The Incredible Hulk while personally visiting everyone who paid to see it to give them a refund and offer them a consolatory kick in the nuts.

2008 was a big summer for superhero movies, whether in The Dark Knight‘s labyrinthine pitch-black plot or the freewheeling pizazz of Iron Man. But there was a third superhero movie this summer – the deformed son that the other superhero movies kept locked in the attic. The Incredible Hulk.

Conceived as a high-octane rollercoaster joyride compared to Ang Lee‘s ponderous 2003 Hulk movie, The Incredible Hulk ended up taking less money than its predecessor while simultaneously giving off the vague impression that it was a direct-to-DVD spin-off directed by a toddler smashed off his face on E-numbers that had somehow wound up with a theatrical release, only not as good as we’ve just made it sound.

However, The Incredible Hulk has still managed to take close to $245 million worldwide, so a sequel looks fairly inevitable. But whether or not it’ll star Edward Norton is another matter entirely.

That’s because, back before The Incredible Hulk was released, Edward Norton threw a gigantic tantrum about the final edit and refused to take part in any promotion of the movie. Reports at the time suggested that Marvel wanted to make the movie shorter and punchier, while Norton was keen to include a 45-minute midsection where the Hulk embarked upon a contemplative rites of passage journey through post-imperial Calcutta or something.

But because of this, Edward Norton hasn’t got a bloody clue about what’s going on with any Incredible Hulk sequels, or even if he’ll star in them if they do get made, as he told MTV:

“The minds of Marvel are sometimes opaque. I won’t say [they're] obtuse, but I don’t have any idea what they want to do.”

Face it Norton. You blew your big chance. You could have kept your mouth shut and got another two guaranteed sequels out of The Incredible Hulk but, no, you had to go and get all precious about it. Now you’re going to be known as the man who was in that film about the magician with the gay voice and nothing more.

Now, Marvel, forget about Edward Norton. What you want to do is make a sequel to The Incredible Hulk, but this time hire an actor so preposterously dumb that he’ll go along with whatever cack-brained scheme you happen to spunk up, no matter how hacky and pointless it is. You want someone who’s not only mindblowingly stupid, but cheap as well. That way you can afford more explosions.

We’ve checked with Hayden Christensen‘s agent. He’s free next week. Thank us later.

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In the year of Iron Man and The Dark Knight, The Incredible Hulk got somewhat overlooked - which is fortunate because it was a bag of bums. Quite how much Edward Norton had to do with The Incredible Hulk being a bag of bums is unknown - hacked off at Marvel's refusal to listen to him, he gathered up his blanket and flounced off in a strop right before the movie came out. And that could be why Edward Norton doesn't know if he's got a future with The Incredible Hulk or not - if he'll be in a sequel or if there'll even be a sequel at all. Hopefully there's a logical reason for this - like because the Marvel heads are too busy trying to track down and destroy every copy of The Incredible Hulk while personally visiting everyone who paid to see it to give them a refund and offer them a consolatory kick in the nuts.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Haley September 16, 2008 at 10:58 pm

you know what? quit being jealous you british “twit.” go back and live in your mother’s basement.

Reply

Stuart Heritage September 17, 2008 at 6:19 am

Sorry Edward.

Reply

Mithaearon September 17, 2008 at 9:13 am

Haley twit hasnt been used since the eleven hundreds you “twat”

Reply

Horror September 17, 2008 at 9:51 am

I thought it was ok, wasn’t a work of art, but I didn’t feel ripped off.

Reply

Gilberto Edwards October 13, 2011 at 1:50 am

I want to say that it wasn`t Edward Norton fault it was all Marvels fault because he didn`t end it the right way like Edward Norton and Louis Leterrier want to end with the lonely theme with Joe Harnell music with Edward Norton traveling like Bill Bixby. EDWARD NORTON is a very fine actor and looks just like the character, whos going to be responsible for Edward Norton come back is Producer of the vanhalla motion pictures, name Gale Ann Hurd,she marvels boss, its totally up to hurd because she is attach to the film rights of the charcater. So its no way to get carried way. So she`s responsible for Edward norton return as Bruce Banner in a Incredible Hulk 2 Sequel.

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