Explosive scud missile information for anyone who still thinks EastEnders is worth half an hour of their time. Jake Moon is not, repeat NOT leaving the soap. Which is interesting, as he was apparently sacked several weeks ago.

Jake’s played by an actor (for those of you that aren’t sure) and he’s called Joel Beckett. More important to him is that some sneaky gossip was leaked to The Sun claiming he may actually to able to pay off his new Mini Cooper after all.

"Jake is staying on in the Square following a reprieve from new boss Kate Harwood. She felt he was an enormous asset and didn’t want to let him go. There are plans for Jake to be involved in some big storylines."

If we reveal that all the above flimflam came from an ‘unnamed source’ we know you’ll forgive us. Joel has spent only three months in employment on EastEnders after, most notably, playing Dawn’s dickhead husband on The Office.

Where will this leave his recently outed co-star Jake Maskall who plays his campy-lispy brother Danny? Who cares, the guy’s rubbish anyway.

Buy a pillowcase of Jake Maskall to remember him by at ebay. That’s right girls, sleep with a gay man.

[story by Chris Laverty]