Do not buy this DVD if you do not like Jimmy Carr.

That is the swiftest way we can get you away from here and back to rearranging your underwear draw. Of course, such a statement raises two serious concerns: why would anyone who does not like Jimmy Carr want to buy his new stand-up DVD in the first place, and does anyone even bother with an underwear draw these days, let alone rearrange it?

(Re. the first question: Jimmy Carr: Comedian could be gift or a promotional freebie. You might have inadvertently shoplifted the thing by accident.)

So, what you really want to know is will you, the consummate Jimmy Carr hater, the guy who moans every time he appears on some panel show – every time you ever turn on the TV – does a cameo in Two-Point Four Weddings And A Bit Part For Martin Freeman or gets interviewed in a Sunday supplement, will you change your mind about this suited, booted shoulderless man and his sardonic, blisteringly fast wordplay wit just on the basis of seeing this DVD alone? Nope.

(To the second question: try arranging your pants in order of tone and the socks into categories, say dress and sports. If you are a girl and wear girly things, consult a publication with Jennifer Lopez or Anne Hathaway on the cover.)