That is the swiftest way we can get you away from here and back to rearranging your underwear draw. Of course, such a statement raises two serious concerns: why would anyone who does not like Jimmy Carr want to buy his new stand-up DVD in the first place, and does anyone even bother with an underwear draw these days, let alone rearrange it?
(Re. the first question: Jimmy Carr: Comedian could be gift or a promotional freebie. You might have inadvertently shoplifted the thing by accident.)
So, what you really want to know is will you, the consummate Jimmy Carr hater, the guy who moans every time he appears on some panel show – every time you ever turn on the TV – does a cameo in Two-Point Four Weddings And A Bit Part For Martin Freeman or gets interviewed in a Sunday supplement, will you change your mind about this suited, booted shoulderless man and his sardonic, blisteringly fast wordplay wit just on the basis of seeing this DVD alone? Nope.
(To the second question: try arranging your pants in order of tone and the socks into categories, say dress and sports. If you are a girl and wear girly things, consult a publication with Jennifer Lopez or Anne Hathaway on the cover.)
If you actually like Jimmy Carr, as we do – and that is important to mention because it will ensure our bias – then Comedian will make the perfect Christmas present for yourself.
It is very funny. So very funny that you might get too engrossed in the comedy and accidentally cross your legs in confusion, thus crushing a gently dangling testicle between your thighs. Comedian will not seem straightaway amusing after that, but you will bounce back surprisingly quickly.
Pop in the disc and you will be greeted by a lively set of menus, all accompanied by Jimmy’s sarcastic tones. "Welcome to my DVD" he says. That is not the finest example of his sarcasm, but to be fair the voiceover idea is a lame gag anyway. The ‘subtitles with a German accent’ option cracks a smile though.
The actual live show does not start particularly well. The dapper gent seems nervous for the recording night and his opening jokes reek of topical discrepancies (a Michael Jackson punchline stinks up the joint dreadfully). However it does not take Jimmy long to find his rhythm. Following a spectacularly nasty heckle towards a middle-aged woman in the audience ("She owes me a tenner!"), the moon-face killer lines up jokes like pump-action custard pies, launching them into the crowd with uncaring abandon for near-on 90 minutes.
He indulges a love of swearing ("Pardon my French, but we all know Paul is an ’effing cunt"), disdain for overly sensitive homophobia ("You’re gay, right? You’re so far in the closet you’re having adventures in Narnia"), jobs ("Finance and IT? That’s cashpoints!") – just about every drunk topic in the worth deliberating.
DVD extras are in abundance; mostly erroneous, with a few notable exceptions: the ‘Thumbing a Softie’ life-lessons (everything from teenage pregnancy to skewed history lectures), a worthwhile interview with Steve Wright and Leigh Francis’ rubber-faced Carr impersonation from TV’s Bo Selecta.
This is a good value set; it is probably Jimmy’s best so far. Always good craic, his starched style may resemble Microsoft Mike doing the Comedy Store, but the comedy quota is always high.
Never chatting aimlessly or disappearing up his own clipped arse, the Channel Four frontman is nowhere near as stuck up and pretentious as you might think. He probably does not even shop in Waitrose.
Comedian may just prove to be Jimmy Carr’s busiest, best value, most accessible work to date. His Asda if you will.