Hey kids, remember Duran Duran? Sure you do – Duran Duran were famous for their awful suits and their dreadful Bond themes 20 years ago, then they got fat and stopped being famous and now one of them's left.

You heard right; guitarist Andy Taylor has left Duran Duran because of an "unworkable gulf" between him and the rest of the band. Quite why a band that only exists as a touring nostalgia machine except for when they're half-riding occasional microsecond-long misplaced fads for decades as shit as the 1980s like Duran Duran losing a guitarist is such big news is entirely beyond any notion of common sense as far as we're able to see. But anyway, in other news the bassist from Wang Chung is a bit sad because he lost his frisbee up a tree.

Comebacks are never especially pretty, are they? Chances are they'll involve watching people you used to be be quite fond of, dead-eyeing their way through the hits for cash even though they've tripled in body weight, lost all their hair and haven't washed since they were famous first time round (yes, we're explicitly referring to the East 17 comeback here). In the future we can expect similar comeback-themed atrocities from the likes of Five and Gareth Gates, and we can't help but blame Duran Duran just a little bit for giving them the idea in the first place.

Duran Duran were famous in the early 1980s for having three good songs and a wardrobe full of the nastiest suits you've ever clapped eyes on. However, Duran Duran's time in the spotlight was brief, and it wasn't long before they were scrabbling around making Thank You, one of the worst albums ever made – seriously, download their cover of White Lines (Don't Do It) if you need convincing. But then, thanks to people who were teenagers in the 1980s becoming old enough to write magazines and make TV shows, it was suddenly OK to ironically like the 1980s again. Duran Duran didn't need telling twice – like a one-man episode of Hit Me Baby One More Time, they rose from the ashes, reunited, performed at Live 8, got a top five hit and decided to tour around the world until people inevitably started thinking that the 1980s were shit again.

But it didn't last – according to a statement on the official Duran Duran website, guitarist Andy Taylor has left the band. Here's how Duran Duran reported Andy Taylor's departure:

To Our Fans

We know that there has been a tremendous amount of speculation over the past few weeks regarding Andy Taylor's continued involvement with the band and we are sorry that we've been unable to provide you with more information until now. The past five years have been an incredible journey for us all – and having the original five back together was something that we had wanted to see happen for some time. As of last weekend, however, the four of us have dissolved our partnership and will be continuing as Duran Duran without Andy, as we have reached a point in our relationship with him where there is an unworkable gulf between us and we can no longer effectively function together. Although obviously disappointed and saddened about this, we are excited about the next chapter of the Duran Duran story and look forward to seeing you all soon.

Now that Andy Taylor has left the band, we're looking forward to the next chapter of the Duran Duran story too – especially the bit where we get to shout "We said NO GHERKINS, fatty!" at Simon Le Bon next time he serves us in Burger King.

Read more:

Duran Duran Come Undone (Again) – E! Online

[story by Stuart Heritage]