When Paris Hilton was arrested for drink-driving yesterday it kicked off a tidal wave of shock in the media, which had never equated constantly-slurring millionaire partygirls with alcohol before.
But Paris Hilton doesn't seem able to understand what all the fuss is about. In fact, Paris Hilton just says that she was a bit hungry and she might have been speeding a bit because she wanted to get to a burger bar quickly. Oh, and she'd only had one margarita that day. More salient, however, is the news that Paris Hilton had been shooting a music video in the hours preceding her arrest. It's certainly a possibility that Paris Hilton merely inhaled the increasingly alcoholic breath of the video crew members, who had turned to drink to combat the frustration of trying to get Paris Hilton to open and close her mouth in time with the bloody lyrics.
The drink-driving arrest of Paris Hilton yesterday was the perfect ending to an incredibly hamfisted promotional campaign for her new music career. In theory it should have all gone so much better – Paris Hilton pulled out all the stops to make her new career path a success, like teaming up with an Oscar-winning rap group, choosing a nice non-threatening genre like reggae for her first single and telling a magazine that she was swearing off sex for a year. In fact, the music of Paris Hilton was said to be so exceptional that Paris Hilton herself bursts into tears the second she hears a note of it. And after all that work, what did Paris Hilton get? An album bought by nobody that a smug graffiti artist dicked about with, that's what. No wonder Paris Hilton apparently turned to drink.
But, despite what you think, all this fuss about Paris Hilton's drink-driving arrest is getting blown out of all proportion. We know this because Paris Hilton said so. After she was released from the police station, Paris Hilton spoke to KIIS-FM to give her – admittedly fairly lame – side of the story. She'd had a long day, you know, filming a music video and then going to charity fundraiser:
"I had one margarita (and) was starving because I had not eaten all day. Maybe I was speeding a little bit and I got pulled over. I was just really hungry and I wanted to have an In-N-Out Burger. I think they (the police) wanted to make a statement. They even said 'there are a lot of people watching. We don't want them to think we are giving you special treatment.'"
And Elliot Mintz, Paris Hilton's slave and a man sounding increasingly like the old Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, picked Paris up from the police station and gave his own version of events to anybody that would listen. Elliot says that Paris Hilton had only had:
"one drink on an empty stomach after a full day's work. It's the absolute minimum amount of alcohol in your system that would justify an arrest."
Well, it's better than Caprice's drink-driving excuse that she just had really horrific breath, but that didn't stop her getting a 12-month driving ban. Let's hope that doesn't happen to Paris Hilton, though – judging by her past efforts at not crashing cars, a 12-month driving ban would mean we'd miss out on at least three potential Paris Hilton car crashes to laugh at.
Read more:
Arrested Paris Hilton says just wanted a burger – Reuters
[story by Stuart Heritage]