Donny Osmond, the whitest guy who ever lived, is having a big old wail about Lady GaGa’s video for Telephone, which stars Beyonce Knowles and their respective sociable breasts. He’s got into a massive tizz about the whole thing, fretting and pacing up and down in his kitchen mainlining decaf coffee and wondering what the impact will be on the children of the world, 32% of those he sired himself. Possibly. This is clearly padding and lies in a tired attempt to hit a word count.
The promotion video/film (which you can see here, with stills of the ‘Best Bits’) has come in for a fair amount of criticism. India Arie,a dullard of a woman if ever there was one, wept that the reel was “socially irresponsible” and now, Donny and his amazingly white teeth are getting in on the condemning action.
And let’s be honest, they really are astonishingly white aren’t they? It’s like staring into an explosion.
Donny sez:
“I’m all for freedom of speech and against any form of censorship, but all I know is that I’m a parent and I’m upset about this.”
Boo hoo! Are you upset wickle Donny Wonny? Would you like Hecklerspray to wipe away that snot bubble?
“Unlike 20 years ago, in today’s modern, viral world in which content becomes instantaneously available irrespective of age, I wonder whether the music industry might need to rethink its marketing policies with regard to making an explicit music video containing profanity, sexual exploitation, nudity and graphic violence available to anyone with internet access.”
He added:
“I wouldn’t want my child to watch this. Would you? What do you think? Should these two extremely gifted female role models for millions of young girls maybe have given a little more thought to the effect it might have on their core audience?”
No. They shouldn’t.
They’re attention hungry pop-stars who, mercifully, haven’t used their platform to push some imagined God down everyone’s necks preferring to allow everyone to stare agog or, more likely, have a great big wank over the whole thing.
Maybe our Donny should revisit something he wrote on his website a while ago:
“We all determine for ourselves what is right and what is not right for our own lives and how we live God’s commandments. I am not a judge and I will never judge anyone for the decisions they make unless they are causing harm to another individual.”
Last time we checked, watching 10 minute pop videos and saying ‘motherfucker’ didn’t really cause any lasting harm to anyone.
No wonder Osmond is the butt of innumerable jokes and his image is hokier than a gingham barrel filled with pumpkin pie.
One professional publicist once (apparently) suggested that Osmond purposefully get arrested for drug possession in order to change his image from nerdy gitbox to something with a little edge. Too late. He’s sat in front of the television with MTV on… crying. GaGa meanwhile, one billion YouTube hits later…
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Loopyloo says
Haaaaahaaa. Nerdy git box. I am saving that for a really crowded train journey, when someone hits me with their sodding rucksack
mo-NEEK-a says
mmmmmmmmm . . . pumpkin pie . . .
TrailerTrash says
I was with him until he started talking about some group of people who are allegedly extremely gifted. I must have dozed off, last I heard the story was about Lady Gaga, who couldn’t have a more stupid name if she was sired by a hollywood coke princess, and is so boring they can’t play her songs on some radio stations in the US for fear of the traffic accident liability caused by the sudden onset of narcolepsy.
Marie says
hey, just leave Donny alone, ok? that was his point of view and we shouldn’t judge him for that. it makes no difference how he said before and now. he’s just a good fellow, a mormon. as you know, they have some other rules and besides he used to think like that, because he was born in other century, you know.