And in a case like this our sweet caring planet isn’t quick to forget. No, in the 35 or so years since the film came out, body-whores have been treated like wined and dined, absolute upper-crust royalty. That’s why they don’t pay taxes. The body-whore is far too sensitive a creature to have to pay taxes. Also there are several government programs designed to give them leopard-spotted spandex pants for free. This is an essential tool to their trade.
The globally accepted widespread affinity to the oldest profession has sparked many acts of good nature. Why, even recently an outreached hand has been extended to a wonderful, wonderful twenty-something night-lady. Donald Trump has recently offered Spitzer's harlot a gig on his new reality show.
We heard it’s mostly like the Apprentice but with slightly more AIDS tests and the winner gets a cathouse. If it's produced well enough, it could very well lead to another 1932 Nuremberg Pulitzer.
Say what you will, But Donald Trump knows how to make money. For those of you who may doubt this, take a look at his hit TV show, his real estate business, his casino, and the fact that at the 2006 World Fair his booth where you could pay to lift his hair and look under it made over $3 billion alone. Not bad seeing as he would have only sat there two hours. Also take a look at the prostitutes that work for him – there's money right there.
We know what you're thinking – 'The Donald must have gone hip hop,' but rest assured he hasn't. He's still the same Rosie hating, Mills hiring, Miss America almost firing guy we've all come to love ever since Bloom County brilliantly stuck him in the body of Bill the Cat. What we're saying is this – Trump's not hiring prostitutes in a pimp sort of way, probably because proper pimp-grills don't fit over his teeth. He's trying to hire prostitutes to make them horny and famous. Not so much horny.
Specifically he's trying to stick Ashley Alexandra Dupré, the long-in-the-face hooker who we think Owen Wilson's character was based on, with a reality TV gig. As reported in the Daily News:
"Donald Trump is hoping to land New York's tramp of the moment, gubernatorial hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré, for his latest TV venture. In the show, a modern version of "My Fair Lady," girls gone wild are sent to a charm school, where they undergo a strict course on debutante manners."
Careful there Donald. Hookers are only good for two things – being the subjects of lonely fat people's poetry and housing pubic-flies.
Neither of those would be worthwhile in an hour-long weekly format. Careful Donald.